October 03, 2011

Rusty Nickles316's HELL IN A CELL report

Greetings and SALUTATIONS. This is your skinny fat assed buddy Rusty typing to you live from Hood River Oregon. While My parents and sister are soaking up rays in the happiest place on earth i am condemned to watching 3 insane golden retrievers and using this slow ass internet.




So here i am. Ready to talk about Hell In A Cell 2011. But here is the rub. I didnt watch it. Out here in HR i cant DL stuff. So i had to read the results. And that's all i got to base my opinion on.




Ok, ill quit explaining. Now lets get into my uninformed opinions.




DBD vs JTG DARKMATCH


It's a bummer that DBD is stuck in the darkmatches. At least he won this one. And if he is going to be in the dark match could they please put him up against Tyson Kidd?




SHEAMUS VS CRISTIAN


This PPV looked kinda lame. First off, we just had a ppv 2 weeks. I need a month to rest between em. Also it had a ton of matches that looked great but needed more time to build. Im sure the match was awesome and both of these dudes can wrestle but i dont care about the story. Im glad that sheamus won tho, he my boy.




MUY CARA VS GOOD CARA


Im actually sad i missed this one. I love this story. It's so stupid and old school. When you really think about it it doesn't make sense. These guys work for the WWE. So wouldn't the management know that some other dude was impersonating one of the stars? Oh well, i shouldn't think so hard about it. It's all fake anyway...




TEAM FART VS TEAM AWESOME


Air boom is stoopid. Mr. Ziggles and the All American American AMERICAN rule and should be the champs. Fuck this match, im moving on.




MARK HENRY VS RKO


As a kid i was really confused about religion. I was raised in a house where GOD was never talked about and we never went to church unless someone was getting married. I would try to pray every once in a while but i would always feel like i was just talking to myself with my eyes closed. The older i got the more agnostic i became and now im a full on, hard edged, skinny fat agnostic. Or at least i was until i read about this match. Mark Henry won CLEAN!? For the SECOND FUCKING TIME!!! Here is the proof i have been looking for. THERE IS A GOD!!!!!




CODY RHODES VS JMO


I have heard a lot of rumors that JMO may be on his way out from the WWE. I hope that this match on the PPV is proof that they are just rumors. He is excellent in the ring and a great character. He just cant talk. I think he just needs a mouth piece to help him get over. a trash talking rock star chick or something.


This match was probably great and i would guess that JMO pulled an amazing move like he does every ppv. The Dashing one is also great in the ring. I doubt that we will see any montages from this match so i would like to know how it was. So, how was it?




THE GLAMAZON VS FEMALE RKO


Thank heavens that Beth Phoenix won this match. She should have won the belt months ago when the Divas of Destruction came out. I kinda feel like this win is too little too late. Kelly Kelly made her look weak and stupid. Hopefully this win can turn all that around.




ADR VS CENA VS PUNK


Oh man, this match sounded like a big mess. Lots of people involved, lots of story going on. Just like the end of the last PPV. I feel like they need to tighten up all these stories a little more. I like where it has been going but i want just a tiny bit more structure involved. That or more mystery. It is kinda in a grey area for me. Regardless, im excited to see what goes on tonight with this whole mess.


That being said, i dont like that ADR won. His first run with the belt sucked, they never gave him chance. He was just kinda ignored, and i feel like that is going to happen again. And why is Punk involved in all this again?


iM SURE ILL SEE THIS MATCH A MILLION TIMES IN MONTAGES (oops, caps on). Im excited to see how it played out.




What was your thoughts on the show? I wish i cared more, it's just that they are putting on so many ppv's i dont have time to get excited. We got Vengeance in 3 weeks. Who cares. I think ill hop back into the PPV game when Survivor Series comes along. Till then you will get more uninformed ramblins.




-Rusty Nickles316

1 comment:

  1. How did you make a blog post with a typewriter? That shouldn't be possible.

    I didn't know about DBD v JTG, ouch.

    Your lack of enthusiasm is pretty justified here, I think. I was happy with the results of the PPV, but going in I wasn't very confident that things would go my way. Plus, as you said, there are too many PPVs to get excited about each one.

    I'll write a bit about HiaC in newsletter format tomorrow, but there really isn't much to say. Not by PPV standards, anyway.

    Two things, though. The tag team match, regardless of Air Boom being retard candy, was actually really entertaining. Retard candy. You know, candy for retards? Yum!

    Also, I hate to tell you, but Natalya cheated on Beth Phoenix's behalf to get her the win. So Phoenix still doesn't look very strong.

    More tomorrow. Hey, speaking of "tomorrow", where's your Rusty's Raw Roster Roundup? Zack Ryder and Drew McIntyre are waiting anxiously.

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