December 26, 2013

Deck the Halls (of Pain) with Boughs of Holly(wood Blondes)

Because no-one else I told today appreciated it, I gotta show you fellas what Alice got me for XMas.



Yeah, that's a Ricky Steamboat autographed magazine from 1979.  I'm gonna get it framed.

It was fun to skim the pages, too.  I didn't read any articles (they were all kind of dumb, even the Steamboat piece) but there was a cool page-size picture of a young-ish Stan Hansen, a chart showing the most popular and most hated wrestlers of the time (with Dusty Rhodes and Ric Flair topping their respective categories), and a hilarious Letters to the Editor section featuring this gem:




Keep in mind this was written in 1979, seven years before they'd enter into the rivalry which is widely regarded to be the best of all time.  Hey Rusty, you ever finish that Chi-Town Rumble?  Poncho, have you gotten to Clash of the Champions VI yet?  Both feature Steamboat-Flair matches from their legendary 1986 series, and I'd be way interested to hear if you guys feel they live up to the hype.

As a freebee from the EBay dealer, I'm also now a proud owner of this memento of wrestling history:


I like how the background is the standard for 90's high school portraits.

Happy days.   See you guys soon, I hope.  Possibly another Royal Rumble get-together?  I would be totally into it.

December 14, 2013

Poncho Man's TLC Preview

Holy crap...we're gonna have two posts in one day. What happened to all those posts Rusty was going to do? Roster Madness!? WCW reviews!?

Okay, so a few house cleaning things before I get to my preview.
A. Still haven't figured out who hijacked my account for the last preview. That shit was weird.
B. Lately my extra curricular has been current ROH and current NJPW. I've also been watching all the Clash Of The Champions in order. It's all slow going. ROH is good, but I'm just missing some white hot heat like SCUM had. The Bullet Club doesn't really do it for me (no good promos).  Oh...and Chris Hero vs Johnny Gargano in Dragon Gate USA was rad. I could write a whole report on Dragon Gate USA and Evolve...and momentum. This is what scares me about Chikara. I digress. I think about wrestling too much.
C. I had a blast at Smackdown. My friend had a great time too. Some of my personal favorite heckles I gave were "Korn sucks almost as much as The Miz", "Cohabitate" (which I got an amazing glare from John Cena for), and "Why the hell would you steal Michael Cole's gimmick?" to Bad News Barrett. I got a nod from JBL for saying "Talk about Stan Hansen" and a physical acknowledgement from Cesaro for yelling "BDK Rules!!" Really I'm just a big jackass and had a lot of the crowd around me entertained.

Dolph Ziggler vs Fandango (Pre-Show match)
Did you see who was on the panel??! THE MIZ! He's back on his show! Anyway....I like Fandango. A lot. Too bad he's now Big Forehead Summer Rae's Heater.

Goldust & Cody Rhodes vs. Big Show & Rey Mysterio vs. Ryback & Curtis Axel vs. The Real American for the World Tag Team Championships
Isn't it cool that the Real Americans are over heels and basically became faces. I can't figure out if it's just a mix of smarks loving Cesaro and actual idiot rednecks...or is it just smarks. Rey and Big Show hugging at Smackdown was the only gag worthy moment I saw. Too bad that Curtis Axel is getting luke warm X-Pac heat.  No build for this....nothing to say....

Big E Langston vs. Damien Sandow for the Intercontinental Championship
Holy crap. Big E might be the #1 non-main eventer by nights end. I just hope this isn't a squash. Sandow's stand out performance was stunted by working with Ziggler. I just remember back in the day it seemed like Vince would push everything, and I'd get annoyed because Atom Bomb was beating Flash Funk. Now he pushes nothing. Everybody just jobs for everyone else. The mid card is sad.

AJ Lee vs Natalya for the Divas Championship
Big Momma Cool and The Crazy Kid vs. a smiley girly version of Bret Hart. I liked it better when she was more of Neidhart rather than a Hart. As I say almost every month....bring back Mickie James!

CM Punk vs. The Shield
I don't think we're gonna end up seeing DBD vs Punk at Mania. That is just too smarky for Vince. Punk vs HHH makes a little more sense. Whatever...I can't predict anything lately. Which is good. This will tell a story.

DBD vs The Wyatt Family
Dude....the Devil Made Him Do It. I don't know if anyone else will agree with me...but I have a feeling that this match is more important to what headlines Wrestlemania than anything else on the card. I just have a feeling....

John Cena vs Randy Orton for the Big Deal Thing
All my favorite wrestlers are the guys that chase the championship for a long time, and finally win against all odds. Maybe it's because I'm a 150 pound (thanks DDP Yoga) non-athelete, but Shawn Michaels, Austin, Punk, DBD, Taker to an extent (there was a long time he main evented and never won). Musclebound guys that look the part are heels to me no matter what. They're the douche bags that picked on me in elementary school (Hogan and Warrior were comic book characters....not realistic douches like Cena and Orton). I didn't like Brock Lesnar until he came back because he became "real" in UFC. The "push" doesn't get me excited unless there is something holding them back. It could be size, body shape, race, the character, the fact you look like a neanderthal, the fact you are perfect, etc. I understand this match. It makes sense from a business stand point. It just doesn't really interest me. It doesn't matter who wins. They're both douches. Bill Goldberg didn't get my juices flowing. Batista didn't get my juices flowing. I have no real coherent thought here and I feel like I'm contradicting myself, but I'll get excited when both of these guys lose.

 I don't know why I got so negative here....I'm having a weird week. Lance Storm is interesting. Steen is amazing on Austin's podcast. I'm really missing Chikara. And I'm done for today

SCN: Title Unification, Smackdown Taping, 3-on-1s, Podcasts, and Twerking

Dear Mine Savory Gentlemen,

For the record, I am FOR the Title Unification.  I honestly can't believe that I talked to each of you for 5 minutes this week without it ever coming up.  Or maybe we did talk about it but I forgot.  Anyway, it's wicked important, or as you say here on the west coast; hella important.  It's wicked hella important.  Triple H ain't blowing no smoke when he says how huge it is.  I was going to write up a whole post about the histories of each title, with personal sentiments about my fondest memories of each one and all of that kind of business, but whatever.  That just isn't what I want to write about.

Pretty much everything that Triple H has been saying is right in line with my own point of view.  The championship will mean twice as much (or more).  It will make everything else in WWE look better by proxy.  The WWE will be more organized, and more approachable to new viewers.  Really, the only thing I'm not thrilled about is the name of the title.  The words "unified" and "undisputed" will be meaningless when there is only one top-tier title.  "WWE World Heavyweight Champion" or even just "WWE World Champion" carries a timeless gravitas without any trite buzzwords.  In my opinion, "WWE World Champion" is the way to go, because it sounds the coolest, and most accurately describes it's importance.

I've heard a lot of whines about the Cena-Orton match-up, because of how many main events they've faced off in already, but I feel that this is simply the way it has to be in order to give the new World Title maximum credibility.  They're the two top guys in the company, a natural babyface and a natural heel (of course we all like Bryan and Punk more, but Cena and Orton have better drawing numbers on paper, and they're more emblematic of the past decade).  I honestly don't know who will win.  My first sense is Cena, because he's The Man and I want him to because I'm a mark.  My second sense is Orton, because of Buddy Rogers (heel) inaugurating the WWWF Championship so that Bruno (face) could take it from him a month later.  The more I think about it, the less confident I am in picking a winner.  I guess that's good booking.

Some of the other matches on the TLC card are whack-- Punk v Shield and Bryan v Wyatts?  Instead of TLC it should be WTF hahahahahahahahahahathatsnotfunny.  Anyway, either Punk or Bryan should go over somehow, whether it's implosion of the Shield or the Wyatts with some weird plan of theirs.  One thing I know is that I'll miss all the Punk/Shield and Bryan/Wyatt matches on TV, that is if this is the culmination of either feud.  I guess there is room for either to go on, regardless of the outcomes of the matches.

The Superstars/Main Event/Smackdown taping was really long.  I think next time I'll go for the $45 tickets because sitting diagonally in a forward-facing seat got uncomfortable before Smackdown even started.  I haven't watched any of the shows yet but if I'm ever on camera I'll probably be tired-looking, from a combo of sitting weirdly, and having to listen to mark-ass teenagers behind me talk about pro wrestling like they were experts, along with some old dude loudly compare everyone in the ring to Jimmy Snuka, who apparently was better at EVERYTHING.  The guy did like Drew McIntyre though, and sympathized that it "just ain't right what they're doing to him."  I was really missing you dudes.

My BBF Brendan was a good sport about coming along, and one of our favorite things to laugh about throughout the show was a sign being held up constantly by a 14-16 year old young man sitting diagonally in front of us that said "TWERK 3:16".  That's a good damn sign.

Bryan was just on Steve Austin's podcast and he was adorable.  Kevin Steen was on the other day.  I haven't heard it yet, but I'm super curious.  First I should finish the Kevin Steen Show with Paul London, I'm only about halfway through.  If you haven't seen it, the KSteen Show is awesome, but only if you're Poncho Man and not if you're Rusty Nickles.  If you're Rusty Nickles you won't understand half the shit these people are talking about.  If you are the Poncho Man you will really enjoy the Kevin Steen Show.  Art of Wrestling with Colt Cabana is either okay, good, or great from week to week, but Lance Storm is the latest guest, and I can't wait to hear it.  He's one of my favorite interviewees in pro wrestling.  His RF Video shoot is one of their best (and most coherent), and Austin's podcast with him is just as listenable.  Chris Jericho just started a podcast, but I have no interest in it because if I hear him talk about Fozzy for two seconds I might start to forget how radical his latest WWE match (v RVD on Raw) was.

Anyhoo gotta go get m'crosshairs and m'beer stand an' check out some muthafuckin' Lumosity an' get some T-plus in m'cart, and I'll catch yer ass down the road!



PS If I can find footage of myself (or Poncho) on SStars, ME or SDown I will post again soon with images.

November 24, 2013

Survivor Series Preview

It's the Thanksgiving season. Time to pull out our Gobbledy Gookers and get ready for Survivor Series.

We're just hours away from something amazing. It's this thing the World Wrestling Entertainment company calls the "Survivor Series Pre Show." I'm personally stoked beyond belief to see the incomparable Mike "The Miz" Mizanin face the WWE mainstay Kofi Kingston. This match already has so much personality that you can shake a stick at it. This, my friends could be a show stealer.

Next we have a real barn burner of a bout. Natalya, The Bellas, The Funkadactyls, Eva Marie, and Jojo vs AJ Lee, Tamina Snuka, Kaitlyn, Rosa Mendes, Summer Rae, Aksana, and Alicia Fox. I can't wait to really see the psychology of this match. The technical excellence of all of these Divas is so far and above all those clunky ladies of yesteryear. Really, the only thing that could make this masterpiece in waiting any better would be the inclusion of Bertha Faye. Really one of the most under utilized ladies in the history of World Wrestling Entertainment.

Cody Rhodes, Goldust, The Usos, and Rey Mysterio vs The Shield and The Real Americans. Boy, I know a lot of these guys are really trying, but they really need some work down in developmental. Some one like Rey Mysterio really has no business stinking up our televisions every week. I can hardly understand him with that accent of his, and his contacts make me feel like he's looking into my soul when he looks at the camera. It's really quite creepy. I really hate to be negative so my favorite part of this match is how the story line really felt natural to have these teams get together for a traditional Survivor Series Match. The Shield and Real Americans have a very similar message (evil) and I'm sure they hang out backstage all the time. I also love that The Usos are one of the main competitive teams of the Tag Team Champions Cody Rhodes and Goldust. This really shows how much solidarity there is between the tag division in WWE and how those Uso boys really appreciate Cody and Goldust representing them.

CM Punk & Daniel Bryan vs. The Wyatt Family. Jeez. I really wish they'd get done with this. It's really hard to follow this storyline. I hate it when they draw things out for like over a month. I mean...yeah CM Punk and DBD are crowd favorites, and the Wyatt Family is really taking them to task, but it just feels so forced. Really, like do you really think CM Punk and Daniel Bryan would team up for anything? I think it would make more sense to have gotten Zack Ryder involved in this. He's so cool. You know it.

John Cena vs Alberto Del Rio for the World Heavyweight Championship
Now this is a match I can get behind. I wish they wrestled like all the time. Their feud could really spread out and power all the WWE programming. Don't just stop at arm wrestling contests. Tug Of War Baby! Chinese Checkers!!! Coloring Contest!!! MONSTER TRUCK MATCH!!! When I see these two...I see $$$$$.

 Big E Langston vs Curtis Axel for the Intercontinental Championship
Soooo stoked that Curtis Axel isn't with Paul Heyman anymore. That guy sucks even worse than Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat.

Randy Orton vs Big Show for the WWE Championship
Oh My Gawd is this going to be a slobberknocker! I have no clue how Randy Orton is going to win this thing. It's so nice they finally got rid of that "Daniel Bryan almost wins" storyline and let a really talented wrestler take on Randy Orton. If that Pre Show match isn't match of the night...I really really feel like this one will be.

 Okay, that's all I really have to say about this one. Sounds like one hell of a show guys. 4:30can't roll around soon enough. Well except for the fact those hacks Mick Foley and Bret Hart will be on the Pre Show Panel. Ug. Gag Me With A Spoon. With that...get your Gobbledy Gookers oiled up and ready as it's time to party.

November 21, 2013

This is What's Going to Happen in 5 Months

What's up dudes,

I've kinda been enjoying the WWE stuff lately, but apparently not enough to do any write-ups or recaps or shows.  That last MMS I did was a stinker too, not my best work.  I figure we're probably all at about the same level of excitement with the product, that there's some cool stuff mixed into a mostly bland Raw.  Enough to merit a monthy post, but nothing to really "mark out" over.

The other day I was spacing out at work, thinking about the alliance between CM Punk and Daniel Bryan.  (Michael Cole called them an "unlikely pairing" or something like that on Raw, which is really fucking dumb because that's the most likely pairing in the roster).  Anyway, the main reason I wanted to make this post today is to make a prediction for Wrestlemania, or rather, for the build-up to Wrestlemania.  I think CM Punk is going to shave off Daniel Bryan's beard.  I think they'll get 20 minutes at 'Mania in a non-title grudge match, and I think Daniel Bryan will win.

I've seen a number of 'Mania predictions creeping into IWC conversations lately, and the speculations will only increase as we get closer to the big one-- it's 30 this year, XXX in roman numerals (too bad it's not the sleaze era of the early aughts, they would have called it 'Wrestlemania Triple X Rated' or some shit).  Hulk Hogan is a name that gets thrown around a lot, and everyone is eager to find out who Undertaker will face.  Some people even think Taker/Hogan could be in the works, but I don't think there's any way that'll happen.  First of all, Hogan can't bump for shit, and he would never go out on his back anyway.  Second of all, Taker's matches of the past five years have all been show-stealers.  There's no way he'd have an old-man-a-thon at such a huge event.  I don't, however, have any real solid guess as to who Taker could face, except maybe Brock Lesnar.  Yeah, actually now that I think about it, that sounds pretty good.  Okey so that's prediction #2: Taker beats Brock in a 35 minute No DQ match.

I can't decide if Hogan will be wrestling, or just a part of the show without wrestling, or not there at all.  His name attached to 'Mania does draw money, but he probably wouldn't come in just to lose a match which begs the question of who would lose to him?  Also, do we get the ketchup & mustard Hogan or do we get a full-on NWO Outsiders reunion?  I personally wouldn't miss him if he's absent, but something tells me he'll be around, at least long enough for a photo opportunity.  I don't have any real prediction for Hogan.

As far as the World titles go, I've got a safe bet and a wild guess.  Orton/Cena for the WWE title.  Del Rio/Barrett/Reigns for the WHWC.

I have a lot of other guesses for what could happen, but they're the kinds of things that could happen at any PPV between now and then.

So now the big question: what do you guys think will happen in 5 months?  Is it even worth your time to think about it?  Any matches you hope for or talents you want to see there?  I want to know your predictions, if you have any, and maybe the one among us who makes the most correct guesses will get a prize.

I guess we can talk more about this  in a few weeks, when our paths cross at the Rose Garden or elsewhere in the city.  I got some decent seats in the 100's diagonal to the ring, far side from the ramp.  I'm going with my pal Brendan, who's not a fan (I bought his ticket) but we'll have fun.  Let's be better organized next time, so that we can all sit together again, I really had a blast last time.

So to recap, here is my list of miracles:
1. Punk shaves off Bryan's beard (before 'Mania)
2. Punk vs. Bryan
3. Taker vs. Lesnar
4. Orton vs. Cena for the WWE title
5. Del Rio vs. Barrett vs. Reigns for the WHWC

Beat that!


Oh and one more thing..... FFFRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNK!!!!!!!!!!!!!

October 26, 2013

Poncho Man's Hell In The Cell Preview

So, my work banned me from websites that you have to sign into...I don't know why...somebody did something stupid obviously...I'm going to type this on the computer...email myself...and hopefully post it via my phone. The lengths I go to for SCW and your PPV Preview....

Housekeeping:HBShizzle will always be my hero. I love it. He's so good and charismatic at everything. He says stupid stuff and it immediately gets over. I watched up to Evolve 22 and a few DGUSA shows after that. I have some things to say...but I'm finding it hard to find the motivation to write about it...My extracurricular lately has been every Clash Of The Champions event in order. Highlights: Rick Steiner talking to his hand, who happens to be named Alex. (I told The Marshall it was like Little Jimmy years before Little Jimmy). Lex Luger's inept commentary. Michael P.S. Hayes working as a face. I'm still in the NWA days...so I can't wait til it turned into WCW and Vader and Cactus Jack show up.

Curtis Axel vs Big E Langston for the Intercontinental Championship.
I like this. I hope the "Five Count" can get over. So much better than "Feed Me More." This could actually be a good entertaining match, neither of these guys suck. Guess what also! The Miz isn't even announced for this show or his Pre-Show match. That means he'll be one of those commentators at that table with Josh Matthews, or he'll be in a lame skit.....or maybe he'll be following some big birds that play rock n roll in The Jungle Book

AJ Lee vs Brie Bella for the Divas Championship
Can somebody just call Ms. Del Rey and either help these girls...or just help Paige accept her inner Luna Vachon. AJ just needs some believable competition. Or just hire Mickie back. I hear she's available...and Batista doesn't work there anymore, but I guess Cena does....

#Team Beauty and The Beast vs. The Shield vs The Usos for the Tag Team Championship
DO YOU LIKE IT!?! I named them! I just mark out for Goldust every time I see him, giggle a little, and feel blessed to be a wrestling fan. This match has some face paint. I'm so glad that since they seem to only be able to have like 3 and a half storylines (Divas are a half storyline) at one time in WWE that the 3rd most important is completely unpredictable. No clue why the Usos were added, but this will be fast paced and crazy. I shall enjoy it.

CM Punk vs Ryback and Paul Heyman HELL IN A CELL
What a year does in the career of Ryback. This is like a weird mirror image of last year. I hope Brad Maddox gives CM Punk a nut shot....for no reason. I'm glad that Rusty's favorite Brad Maddox seems to be in a better more important position in the company than Ryback does, especially since Ryback was red hot a year ago (for comparison...DBD is white hot). This is the middle of the wrestling year guys....let's get ready for the 6 month slide to Wrasslemania.

Los Matadores vs The Real Americans
Cesaro is on a PPV! YAY! Torito! Swings! Uncle Zeb! Cesaro immediately gets them over basically as evil babyfaces! This is just classic. A match that makes sense...solely based on character work.

John Cena vs ADR for the WCW Championship
Deja Vu? This would be really funny if it was a squash, going either way really. Whatever.

DBD vs Randy Orton for the WWE Championship HELL IN A CELL
So I've been growing my beard for quite awhile now, waiting till DBD wins the title for more than 24 hours...and then I'll be safe to shave it. I'm willing to keep it for another six months, or just cut it off after Halloween (debating on whether Bray Wyatt or Aquaman would be easier) depending on the end of this match. HBShizzle being involved seems like a big swerve to me. I just have no idea what will or could happen in this match...and that deserves a big YES! YES! YES!

Well, enjoy the show tomorrow. I'm listening to Brother Love on the Austin show right now. I already have tickets to Smackdown (we're behind the announcers I think about 6 to 8 rows. ) I'll make sure to yell real loud so you can hear my funny stuff. Okay, let's all get together at the coast. Now that the Marshall has a job with weird hours it will probably be harder. Let's figure something out anyway....

Poncho Out

October 22, 2013

MMS: Molten Lava



I can't believe it's October and this is only the third MMS I've made this year.  Slacker!


October 10, 2013

PWG 2003-2006 Brief Review...and some blathering about rock music....

I lay in bed at 12:43 in the morning of  October 10th.  I’m watching NJPW Destruction 2013. This is what I’ve decided is the “best day ever.” I think I wrote about how my positivity (the computer says that positivity isn’t a word) brought about my “best day ever” comments. So this should be old hat to the SCW crowd.

Tonight, The Lowmen will open for Orange Goblin. Little background. Orange Goblin I first heard around 1998. They started a few years earlier, but the guy who owned the record store/head shop in Albany introduced me and a friend to them on their album “Time Traveling Blues” in 1998. I keep saying that this is my dream from when I was 16, opening for Orange Goblin. The lead singer is about 6 foot 4 with long hair and a beard. He’s almost like a mix of Luke Harper and Ozzy Osbourne. They play what I can only describe as psychedelic biker metal. To me…this is basically rock and roll.

Rock and Roll and Wrestling….sounds like a formula Vince McMahon realized worked well in the 80s.

ANYWAY…I’m super stoked and thought I would share.

So to continue with my “best day ever,” I thought I’d write a little review of Pro Wrestling Guerilla 2003-2006, because one of the best things ever is talking about wrestling…

Now I know Rusty has never watched PWG, but I know the Marshall and I talk about it sometimes and he mentioned to me earlier today that he wanted a write up….so here I go!!!!

PWG is a promotion based out of LA started by a group of wrestlers that include Quiksilver, Disco Machine, Super Dragon, and Excalibur. None of these guys are very famous outside of PWG except maybe Super Dragon who had a long run in CZW and was involved in the CZW/ROH feud (which I’ve recommended before). Their shows are around 2 to 3 hours, and I think are mostly known on the internets for having very irreverent commentary. The commentary is taped after events and is  completely random and hilarious. It’s mostly Excalibur and Disco Machine and sometimes retired wrestler Taro doing the commentary (Taro was a masked Bull character that would press a button on his belly/outfit that would basically make him super powerful). These guys make tons of obscure and not obscure wrestling references and maybe my favorite part is that Taro is a big drunk who created the drinking game of every time there is an arm drag, you drink. I follow this rule no matter what I’m drinking during whatever wrestling I’m watching.

I think PWG has quite cut down on the amount of shows they have every year. It’s taken me a little over a year to get through probably 55 shows, and that’s fast forwarding through a lot of stuff I didn’t care about. I think they do more like 10 to 12 events a year now compared to the 20 they did in the early days (I wonder if this has to do with a lot of talent being eaten up by WWE or that TNA talent can’t work for indies anymore).

The Good: PWG is like a who’s who of independent wrestlers of the 2000s. DBD, Samoa Joe, Colt Cabana, Petey Williams, Sabin and Shelley, Matt Sydal (Evan Bourne), Jack Evans, Claudio Castignoli, Chris Hero, CM Punk (on some early shows), AJ Styles, Frankie Kazarian (the first champ), Chris Daniels, Necro Butcher, Cima, Pac (Adrian Neville), Homicide, Tyler Black (Seth Rollins), Jimmy Jacobs, Davey Richards, Roderick Strong, El Generico, and Kevin Steen are all either major players or make cameos in the first three years.

El Generico and Kevin Steen are massive stand outs. Mostly because a lot of the other guys were already in TNA at the time and having killer matches on national tv. The commentators always talk about how Generico is the “Tito Santana of PWG.” The guy that always has awesome matches with whoever.

The homegrown talent that I like is Quicksilver (who teams with El Generico as “Cape Fear”) and Human Tornado (who teamed with El Generico as “Two Skinny Black Guys). Both are just solid indie guys who you love to love. Human Tornado is a skinny “black pimp” that would fit right in at Chikara events…and might be more loveable than Sugar Dunkerton. Yes, I said it.

It’s just really really awesome to see tons and tons of matches of guys, that you know are incredible wrestlers, on a stage where there are storylines, but the shows are once or twice a month instead of weekly. Just imagine if WWE was able to tell compelling stories only based on their PPVS and maybe 5 or 6 Clash Of The Champions every year…that’s PWG.

The Battle Of Los Angeles Tournaments are badass. It’s a who’s who of indie wrestlers, in a tournament. I know The Marshall loves tournaments.

The Bad: PWG really gets going when “The Dynasty” forms in 2006. Joey Ryan, Scorpio Sky, Chris Bosh (not the Miami Heat guy), and Scott Lost form a group that runs roughshod over PWG for all of 2006. Joey Ryan (who you may or may not know from TNA fame) holds the championship of PWG through all of 2006 and cheats, pussies out, or just throws on the headlock through all his matches. This is fantastic booking, and interesting story…..but I don’t really like any of these guys wrestling style. Scorpio Sky is a passable independent high flyer. Joey Ryan is a pretty good character/talker…I’m just not THAT impressed, and Bosh and Lost are terrible. But, other than hating Kevin Steen for awhile…these are the only truly EVIL people PWG has. Needless to say…I watch a lot of their promos, and fast forward through the matches…

The Ugly: Super Dragon. He’s the most “hard core” wrestler on the roster (he is involved in a few “Guerilla Warfare matches…which are just Hardcore matches with a cool name). He doesn’t talk. He’s in an all black costume and he’s kinda pudgy. He tags with Kevin Steen, Davey Richards, and B-Boy and wins the tag championships each time…..and he’s boring. I don’t buy into Super Dragon at all. Yes….he could kick my ass…Yes…he’s intimidating…but I feel nothing when I see him. The internet mark always says Triple H booked himself into the main event for years, and I wonder if that is Super Dragon (who as I said, owns part of the company). He’s a top guy, who can take quite the beating, but his character is completely based on the fact that he’s booked as a main event badass.

Home Grown Talent: Ronin, Disco Machine, Top Gun Talwar, Bosh and Lost, B-Boy, etc. Holy crap do I get bored. I think I told Marshall once that I tried watching a more recent PWG event and B-Boy came on and I wanted to slit my wrists. So basically what I’m saying is that I don’t like any of the people that were trained to be PWG wrestlers.

So I wrote most of this last night and can’t really think of much else to say….ask me questions if you want to know more. I think some of my favorite matches are DBD vs. Claudio Castignoli where there is a 10 minute headlock. Cabana has great matches with just about everybody (because they’re funny). This might also be the only place you can see AJ Styles vs. DBD.

Anyways….that’s all I can think of to say….hope all is well and I’m sure you’ll get random wrestling texts soon.

Poncho Out.

October 06, 2013

Poncho Man's Battleground Preview

Well shit. We're only a few hours away from Battleground. Like last month...this will probably be short and sweet. Or I'm still bitter that nobody found my last post as funny as I did. Then I realized that Rusty probably has no idea who Rob Conway is. I cried myself to sleep the night I posted that.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Damien Sandow
The Miz-Pre Show has some different faces this time around. I was trying to think if I've ever had many positive things to say about Ziggles. He was interesting when he had AJ and Big E. Now, he shows off and just comes off smarmy to me. Now somebody that doesn't NEED a heater is Sandow. He's awesome even when he loses every match. 

Here's my rant though. Sandow is awesome because he's good at his character. His persona is charming because he does it well....BUT both of these guys are exactly the same. I don't know if you'll agree with me but they probably came in and went to OVW right around the same time..and were both "stand outs" because they were able to and did what the man wants in a "prototypical WWE Superstar." They're all just Randy Orton to varying degrees. I don't like the wrestling style of the "prototypical WWE Superstar"...it makes you nothing but a good hand.....

Santino Marella & Great Khali vs The Real Americans
Remember when Santino was in that Elimination Chamber match. That was cool. Remember when Great Khali was taken out of the Punjabi Prison match. Remember when Antonio Cesaro lifted Khali. Remember when Uncle Zeb cut a promo on Santino and Khali about how they aren't from the US. Oh wait...that will happen tonight. Go Cesaro Go.

AJ Lee vs. Brie Bella for the Diva's Championship
Some sweet Diva action. Total Divas is on hiatus so I don't care.

Kofi Kingston vs Bray Wyatt
I apparently missed this whole storyline. I hope Kingston doesn't turn heel by joining Wyatt. I'm being very very patient with the Wyatt Family. They make me happy and look really cool. Somebody tell Kofi to stop sitting down and I might like him.

Curtis Axel vs R-Truth for the Intercontinental Championship
I can't decide if Curtis Axel is the "prototypical WWE Superstar" or not. I'm happy that he actually does lots of tributes to his dad without being his dad. I completely missed out on R-Truth being anything other than a mid-carder. I liked him in TNA....which is the weirdest comment I've ever made. When was the last time R-Truth was even on a PPV. Yay for Battleground!

Cody Rhodes and Goldust vs The Shield
Wooooo boy. This I am excited for. Do I even need to explain why? Goldust looks awesome. AND  Hopefully! Maybe! Maybe Please!?! Cody vs Goldust at Wrestlemania!?! WEEEEE....this is good stuff. Dusty's face palm was rad! I heard Stephanie was pissed...but jesus...that was one of the best parts. Can't bury the Rhodes family completely...or they'll look stupid. Whatever....GOLDUST RULES!!! GOLDUST FOR LIFE!!!!

Del Rio vs Van Dam for the WCW Championship
This might be more interesting than we're thinking. All sorts of things could happen.

This has nothing to do with this match..but my friend and I were coming up with before and after Halloween costumes. EXAMPLE: Shaquille O'Neal Patrick Harris, Willie Nelson Mandela.
One of my favorites was Rob (or Jean-Claude) Van Dam Dirty Apes

CM Punk vs Ryback
At least Ryback has something to do that isn't beating up Marchie Archie. Good story...bad opponent....better than a kick in the pants....

DBD vs Randy Orton for the WWE Championship.
Once again....I'm just along for the ride.

So now there is just a half hour til the The Miz Pre-Show. Cutting it close. I had a busy weekend at work doing fun stuff...so I banged this shit out. Oh...and I watched the Triple H documentary last night. It was kinda dumb. He doesn't have a good story. "I liked wrestling as a kid, got into body building, and I'm smart enough to learn everything about wrestling." Lots of good clips though...and everybody loves him apparently. I watched it...I'm glad I own it...but not that interesting....

Enjoy the show boys. Poncho Out

October 03, 2013

NEW CHAMP

Thought you guys might want to know,  but there was a tournament in Puerto Rico today. In the end, The Poncho Man was crowned the New NWA:SCW Intercontinational World Wide 24/7 Hard Stomach Badass Dude World Champion.

This is in response to finding out that Rob Conway is the NWA World Champion.

Feel free to challenge me, but I hope you realize it will be futile. Poncho Man: Jean Jacket Vest In The World.

Ravage Out.

October 02, 2013

RR 10.2.2013


September 28, 2013

ECW '93 part 2/2

Heckles and jeckles, wrestling schmeckels, and welcome to the second edition of the 20-years-too-late coverage of Eastern Championship Wrestling by yours truly, Quarter Marshall.  This edition covers episodes 21-38, which spanned late August to the end of the year, which was 1993.  This period of time saw some major shifts in the direction of the product, although the final result has yet to come to fruition.  Some of the TV has been pretty tedious, but still it was cool to see the debuts of some iconic personalities, and be able to follow their early careers week-by-week.


Chief among the newly introduced wrestlers is Sabu, who came into ECW at nearly 30 years old, already looking grisly as fuck, with layers of thick scars cross-hatched across his chest, back, and arms.  When he debuted (against Taz) in October, he was over instantly.  The match was one of my top 3 favorites in ECW so far, and partly because I totally bought into the hype.  It's on the highlight reel, check it out it's absolutely sick.

Other debuts have included the aforementioned Taz, then known as The Tazmaniac, Tawmy Dreamah (with blue tights, yellow suspenders, and huge gassed up pecs), and Public Enemy, who I remember as sucking ass on WCW, then getting rolled on by the APA on Sunday Night Heat.  In the case of their ECW career however, they debuted with a bang, cutting cool promos and having decent matches and backstage brawls.  In the final episode of 1993, there were debuts by The Pitbull and Mike Awesome, but I don't have anything to really say about them yet.


There are a few reasons that episodes were sometimes tedious to watch, to the point that I'd sometimes just skip through them.  Some matches and promos were shown and re-shown the next week, and the next week, and so on.  This was mostly done because they weren't filming events on a weekly basis, and sometimes they wouldn't have any new material for a whole month.  During these times, they'd show highlight clips from the last event they had, and air promos to hype the next event.  Then they'd show clips from that while hyping the next one, and so on.  There were even a few weeks they were airing matches from a house show in a high school gym.  But my least favorite episodes were the first three in this series (episodes 21-23), because Eddie Gilbert was on screen sooooo much and was sooooooo annoying.  Total shit, like corny in a bad way.  But as soon as he bowed out, Paul E took his place as head booker, and doofy play-by-play guy Jay Sully is replaced with uber-likable Joey Styles.  Oh, happy days!  Unfortunately, at this point we also get "Matty", a skeezy psuedo-host who I could only describe as being like a rock radio station personality.  Tool!


Anyways, despite the company not putting out the cleanest product in the world, there were plenty of highlights to keep me invested in the program, which says a lot for a regional operation.  Paul E is still cutting killer promos.  The crowd is still pretty hot.  Terry Funk is still appearing regularly, and he's amazing, which you would know if you watched the last highlight reel.  Here's another one:




Playlist:
1. "His head hit here" 12/14/93
2. Sabu vs. Taz (debut of both) (includes set-up from earlier date) 11/01
3. Tawmy Dreamah promo 10/12
4. Public Enemy is gonna BEEP 9/21
5. J.T. Smith vs. Masayoshi Motegi 9/07 (good technical match)

September 24, 2013

SCW Wii

September 14, 2013

Poncho Man's Night Of Champions Preview

I kept thinking about doing this all day. I really don't have much to say about a lot of these matches. I realize that is okay, and it's not a bad thing. I've been consistently pleased with the product lately. Don't want to start nitpicking and fantasy booking, I just want to be positive.

1. RD Evans was on Smackdown. This is one of the single best things ever.

2. Dean Ambrose vs. Dolph Ziggler for the US Title
I honestly have no inkling of what this feud is. Maybe I wasn't paying attention. Here is my guess. Dolph made some disparaging comments about Triple H...because he's a showoff and Triple H is kinda showing off his new power. So Triple H sent his meany henchman after him. Am I right!?! This will probably be okay.

3. The Prime Time Players vs The Usos vs The Real Americans vs. Tons Of Funk vs 3MB
Wow. I just love that I live in a day and age where coming out makes you get a big push. Millions Of Dollars just isn't as entertaining as it was when it was EVIL. Thank god for Antonio Cesaro.

3. AJ Lee vs. Natalya vs. Brie Bella vs. Naomi
I love me some Total Divas. I also love me some awesome AJ Lee promos. Still confused why The Marshall doesn't like Natalya. First storyline involving the Divas Title worth watching maybe ever (think about it....it's totally meta and stuff) and the first storyline since Mickie James and Trish Stratus that wasn't dumb. Not so much caring about the wrestling itself though...Naomi stole Colt's move....

4. Alberto Del Rio vs RVD for the World Heavyweight Championship
Wow...I don't give a flying fuck. The match will probably be decent though.

5. CM Punk vs Curtis Axel and Paul Heyman
This is all sorts of great. This storyline doesn't insult my intelligence. They aren't even really involved in the bigger storyline. It's been a brutal violent build, and remember when we basically saw this and it was good. Yay for good stuff!

6. DBD vs Randy Orton for the WWE Championship
I'm just along for the ride baby.....

Short and sweet. I have a fancy phone now so feel free to bug me anytime about wrestling. I might have some more posts this week. Good night young boys.

September 07, 2013

August 30, 2013

ECW 1-20

Quarter Marshall here, reporting on things great and wonderful from the historical history of professional wrestling.  The topic today: ECW.  The promotion was briefly a touchstone of conversation at our last get-together, and I was forced to admit complete ignorance.  Sure, I've seen the Rise and Fall of ECW, and I've watched all of the Eddie Guerrero-Dean Malenko matches from their 1995 feud, but that's about it.  I'm familiar with the iconic characters, and of course the reputation ECW had for being cutting-edge, influential, and inspiring a cultish fanbase which to this day imbues every wrestling crowd in America with chants of Eee-Cee-Dub!  In order to get a taste of this zeal, I've been watching Hardcore TV chronologically from it's inception in April 1993.  I'm 20 episodes (4.5 months) deep, which seemed like a reasonable juncture to stop into SCW Online and drop some of my reactions on you.  Also, for your viewing enjoyment, I've assembled a highlight reel of my personal favorite moments.

First off, when I'm talking about ECW here, it's still Eastern Championship Wrestling.  "Hot Stuff" Eddie Gilbert is still head booker, and the main heel in the company.  He's associated with Jimmy Snuka, Don Muraco, his brother Doug (as The Dark Patriot), his brother Freddy, and their manager Paul E Dangerously.  They collectively feud with at least half of the babyfaces.  Heyman's presence on the show is profound.  After debuting on the fifth show (with high audience recognition, since he'd been a manager in WCW for about five years) he quickly earns one of the top heel spots, and edges out the original color commentator (Stevie Wonderful) so that his voice is all over the product.  Promos, interviews, commentary, ads.  It's often his infectious passion, devious wit, and brilliant salesmanship that hold the shows together with a feeling of constant intensity.  Of course, things haven't even started to heat up yet, but for it's time, it was pretty wicked.


The shows have provided a cool opportunity to watch some guys that I've heard of, but rarely seen in action.  Namely: Eddie Gilbert, Chris Candido, Ivan Koloff, Jimmy Snuka, and Don Muraco.  Of the bunch, I'd have to say that Snuka's ring work is the most entertaining (his splash looks absolutely sick) and Don Muraco's promos are my personal favorite, though Gilbert's a natural on the stick as well.  The only talent I've seen who I like but hadn't heard of was "Wildman" Sal Bellomo, a big buffoon kind of character who's billed from Italy and dresses like a centurion.  The shows have also provided opportunity to see more from a few of my favorites, being Heyman, Terry Funk, and Stan Hansen.  The only iconic Extreme CW guy I've seen so far is Sandman, but to my shocking surprise he works in a wetsuit and comes out to Surfin USA by the Beach Boys.  He's a top player nonetheless.

It takes about three months for the show to start feeling really different from other wrestling programs of the time.  The first balcony spot (by Dark Patriot and JT Smith) was performed in June, and the show's opening video is updated in July, featuring the most violent and raunchy footage compiled from the show's brief tenure.  Almost every show ends in some kind of melee or beatdown.  Angles are kept hot, titles are coveted, and promo time is used efficiently.  Already, the fans have noticeably become bigger marks for the good guys, and the crowds have grown.  The oft-repeated tagline for the show was "It's not for everyone", which (ironically) is as good a sales pitch as anything.



As much as I've enjoyed it, I'm really looking forward to the rebranding (which was foreshadowed on the most recent show I watched, as it debuted a happy shiny Shane Douglas).  I'm looking forward to more pissed-off WCW guys coming to Philly to air their grievances.  I'm looking forward to having context for some of the iconic ECW moments, and witnessing the feuds step by step.  Most of all, I'm looking forward to Joey Styles, my favorite commentator aside from Jim Ross.  Encyclopedic knowledge of technical wrestling and a good scream once in a while is my cup of tea.  *sip*  Mmmmm.

Well that was my rant, so here as promised is the highlight reel:




Playlist:
1. Sandman promo (2nd show, 4/12/93)
2. Terry Funk promo (5th show, 5/04)
3. Paul E promo (6th show, (5/11)
4. Terry Funk promo (6th show, (5/11)
5. JT Smith/Dark Patriot spot (from live event, broadcast on 12th show, 6/22)
6. Stan Hansen vs. Jimmy Snuka (19th show, 8/17)

The bald, bearded, and abused guy in #2 is Tod Gordon, the ECW founder/owner/president.  I meant to include another clip which featured Gordon being casually strangled during a wild-assed Stan Hansen promo, so I'll put that on the next reel.

August 20, 2013

MMS: Give 'Em Enough Claw





I didn't mention it in the podcast, but there was another mini-episode of "Ashes" which again hints toward a complete reboot of the Chikara universe.  [watch]

August 18, 2013

Poncho Man's Sumerslam Preview

Woo. Totally forgot to do this yesterday. I was in post live wrestling fog. Got home at like 3:30 and went to work at 8:30. So much fun seeing you guys. I kinda said this to the Marshall before I left, but it's really awesome and meaningful to have friends that are as into this stupid shit as much as I am. So we're a few hours away....hope you get to this before the show. Yes?

Dean Ambrose Vs. RVD for the United States Title
I said this the other day..."Did I call it or did I call it?" As in, I said I was excited for a RVD/Ambrose feud. This will probably not be an ongoing feud and if RVD wins...we'll know The Shield is in the dog house. Anyways...RVD has been great since his return. I'm excited to watch this at work today. Can't wait to see the host of Summerslam "The Miz" on the pre-show probably hanging out and talking. They should just change the name from Pre-show to "Miz-Show."

Natalya Vs. Brie Bella
Watched Total Divas yet? It's so totally rad. It totally makes me happy. It's totally awesome! Only teetotalers totally don't like Total Divas. Tyson Kidd totally isn't making love to Natty enough. Brie is totally moving to Phoenix so she can totally be with her dog. I totally see Trinity (Naiomi I think) and John (Jey Uso) totally getting married in a few years, and Rikishi will totally be there to totally celebrate. I totally love my Total Divas.

Totally.

Cody Rhoades Vs. Damien Sandow
Kinda sad that this isn't a Ladder Match for the briefcase. Maybe they think they can get a few matches out of this. These guys are so good. Too bad they won't get very much time, but I'm super stoked for this match.

Dolph Ziggler & Kaitlyn vs Big E Langston & AJ Lee
5. 5. 5....things about this match....
1. Has anybody noticed Kaitlyn's weird non-Six Pack that just looks like one big cut muscle on top of her stomach. I'm probably the only one.
2. Ziggles talks about he's the next "man"...but he's really great in that #2 position.
3. Why does no one seem to understand what is going on in AJ's mind. Her facial expressions seem to make it easy. Silly announcers.
4. Big E is rad.
5. I don't really care about this match.

Kane Vs. Bray Wyatt Ring Of Fire Match
Glad that he's working with Kane. Means that he'll have a really sharp tight competitor that won't let him remotely fuck up. Glad no one is supposed to be set on fire like the Inferno matches. I know they won't do it...but man it would be great if this was some crazy storyline dealing with cults and the Brothers of Destruction etc. But, we're too stupid to follow anything that isn't super simplistic and we forget what happened 3 weeks ago (like how I totally forgot about Santa Claus).

Alberto Del Rio Vs. Christian for the World Heavyweight Title
Speaking of which....this match will have lots of kicking. It will also have lots of looking. I wish Christian had done some funny promos.

CM Punk Vs. Brock Lesnar
This is going to be brutal. I can't wait.

John Cena Vs. DBD for the WWE Championship
We already talked about this. Yeah sure, it's a little reminiscent of the Punk/Cena feud. I really don't know what will happen. It's a perfect storm for wrestling. Everyone loves DBD. Cena we love to hate. This is going to be rad.

5 hours away. I'll start watching around 11. Gonna be a late night. Out.

August 08, 2013

A non wrestling post about wrestling

It's rare that we post like this. And it only really happens when something crazy happens in wrestling. Well, I'm 2 weeks behind on raw. I have no idea what's going on. So I think we are all inspired to post because of the Poncho Man's super awesome tour diary. I loved reading them. That kind of weird shit is welcome here at SCW if you ask me. I haven't toured since 2009 so I really appreciated reading about it. You captured the weirdness and feeling of tour. So thanks for posting.

Marshal. Poncho. It sounds like we all come from a long line of wrestling fans. My dad introduced me to it as a kid. He doesn't watch consistently but goes to live shows and watches it with me when I'm visiting. All his red neck brothers watch it still, which I find super weird because they are really weird. His dad, my grandpa was a avid Portland wrestling fan into the 70's. My dad has very few fond memories of his dad but one was staying up late in the mid 60's with a tray of cheese and crackers and watching wrestling ( and the creature feature after it ). How cool is that. My grandpa was born in 1919 in the deep south. I dunno what wrestling came out of Tennessee but I'll bet he soaked it up until they moved to Oregon in 1962. He probably saw some classic shit.

A few days ago I was flipping thru the upper channels of our mega cable when maren interrupted me. She said we had to go meet our friends for dinner. That made me mad. Not because I didn't want to go but because I just stumbled on some ESPN classic channel that was showing Global wrestling. I was super stoked. Booker T was on the screen. I pleaded that we gotta stay. I told maren that she loved Booker T. She glared at me and we left. That show reminded me. Summer 1992. I watched some low budget wrestling every single day. I think it was on at about noon or 1. I still cant place what promotion it was. I know it wasn't WCW or WWF. I knew those well. It could have been Global. Dunno. But I remember loving it even tho i knew it was cheap.

I gotta catch up on wrestling dudes. Goodnight!!!!

Adventure Response Time



Ravaging D*** Dude, 

These have been some of the most entertaining posts I've ever seen on this site YOU ARE A WRESTLING G--O--D

You may have invented (or just perfected) the Wrestling Road Trip/Bender, which is something I really want to do now.

My great-grandmother-in-law went to Portland wrestling and threw cabbage at the heels.  Maybe our great-grand-relatives had a wrestling blog, too.  That would have to've been on, like, geocities or angelfire or something.  Damn, those people were old.

I heard a DBD interview once where he said something to the effect that "wrestling is like some kind of bizarre performance art" (paraphrasing).  I think the three of us are each drawn to the aesthetic absurdity which embodies the unreality of pro wrestling.  We look at it from several points of view at once, and when the pieces are added up, they equal greater than 100%, because each perspective brings with it the luggage of emotional memory.  I watch wrestling as a kid, as a teenager, and as an adult all at the same time.  It's impossible for me to grow out of it or lose interest.

Today I was trying to fix an old TV, and I happened to flip to ESPN Classic, which was airing GWF, or Global Wrestling Federation.  I've dated the episode to 1992 or 1993, and it was total shit but I ate it up like nobody's business.  Did you guys know that Harlem Heat was initially known as The Ebony Experience?  Booker T and Stevie Ray were the only people I recognized from the broadcast.  That would be like if Kai En Tai were originally called The Yellow Fever.  That's racist, so don't laugh!

This was supposed to be a comment, but then I wrote too much.  Damn writing, why am I even thinking, let alone writing?  What's this beer for anyway?  Swig o' beer for the workin' man *Slurp*

Back to business,
Q Marshall


PS is your full first name Sandal?

August 07, 2013

Adventures In PonchoLand Vol. III

August 3rd, 2013. Triple T wakes up with a runny nose. He is allergic to cats. This gets fixed with a shower, a Zyrtec, and the Bohemian Bracelet maker waiting for me on the kitchen counter. Later a small child shoots me with a Nerf gun, so I throw him in the pool. I threatened a power bomb, but the small child knew not to mess with the Poncho Man. This was the Poncho Man's birthday and he went to the mall. His giant mutton chops, Lakers jersey, flip flops, and safety sunglasses were not the hip fashion. The final show of the tour was at the "Rogue." It was gross, but the group did their final DDP Yoga stretches outside. Got into the van and spent 21 hours driving back to Eugene.

August 5th, 2013. Poncho meets his parents in Ashland. Luckily, they let him watch Monday Night Raw. They also tell him that Portland wrestling superstar Dutch Savage passed away on August 3rd. The Poncho Dad tells the story of how Great Grandma would go watch the matches every Saturday when she lived outside of Portland.

August 7th, 2013. Just finished watching last weeks NXT. Really enjoyed the Zayn/Dallas vs Cesaro/Kruger match. The whole show was good minus Mason Ryan being a worthless piece of trash.

In conclusion, Poncho Man has no idea if this was actually entertaining or needed to be done. He'll soon be back to his normally scheduled routine, but this has been a crazy 3 weeks or so. Poncho looks back and kinda realizes the point to all this was that he lives a pretty wrestling filled life. Even before he got back into it (big time in the last few years, partly thanks to you two.....hats off) he was constantly making references or allusions to wrestling that most people wouldn't get, and he'd have to explain (or not).

I recently told The Marshall how impressed I was with his art and currently his dedication to his wrestling sketchbook project. It was completely fascinating looking at that stuff and seeing movement through another's eyes abstractly. Being a musician, I guess I could write songs about wrestling or write music that might be played on wrestling, but I have no interest in that. I think where it most inspires me is the sure absurdity of it all. I love art that is absurd (extreme volume, extreme virtuosity, extreme colors, etc). I love the fact that I've taught almost every person I know about "YES!" and how ridiculous it is, but people love doing it...even if they don't like wrestling.

Most of this tour/trip I've been super ridiculous positive. The last few years have been really tough and lonely and depressing for me...so this was quite the change (Van+6 dudes is quite the change from underground living room by oneself). So as I said earlier...this mix of DDP Yoga, cigarettes, energy drinks, booze, wrestling references, and positivity is what the Poncho Man is all about.

I hope I didn't hijack this thing with non-wrestling talk too much. For some reason I just felt this was a good place to share.

OOOOoooooooooooh Yes!

The Continuing Adventures Of The Poncho Man.....

July 30th, 2013. Wake up at "The D" on Fremont Street. Immediately order a margarita from a slushie machine outside. Play a show in front of a couple hundred people for "Nickel Beer Night." Dubstep plays loudly between bands. Poncho gets scolded for dropping it like it's hot. Finally start gambling by playing one line on a penny slot. Over the course of about 24 hours...I go up 15 dollars playing this way.  I pass out watching "A Night Of Hoopla" in the hotel. The Jay Lethal vs Delirious match is one of the most highly recommended matches to watch. Looking at you Rusty!!!!!

July 31st, 2013. Everyone is still asleep, but it's DDP Yoga time. Ravage quietly does his stuff, and proceeds to pack up, get ready, and gamble more. Triple T wakes the boys hour before check out time and laughs that he feels great and has been up for hours already. This is the first day off from playing we've had, but we are traveling to Tucson, Arizona. We pull into Tucson in the evening and head to Safeway. We cause a small amount of hoopla as we're walking out as there is a copy of Chyna's book. Poncho can't bring himself to stand in line again and spend 3 dollars on something he doesn't really want? Poncho questions himself and his sanity when he decides he doesn't want it.

August 1st, 2013. While hanging out and napping, more Main Event and NXT is procured. Also, Monday Night Raw is finally watched. Triple T thinks about how hard it is to pack in even 5 hours of wrestling on the road, but he's doing it. That evening it's randomly decided that we're going to take pictures at a mansion 20 feet from the Mexican border. It's the most amazing thing the One Legged One has ever seen. He makes sure to include a Blue Demon lucha head in one of the pictures. Finally, after drinking copious tequila, One Leg passes out in the van listening to The Art Of Wrestling. RD Evans and Colt Cabana's dulcet tones are waxing poetic about wrestling when suddenly Ponch is getting touched by the 60ish year old gay half owner of the mansion. The question is asked "Do you want to sleep in the van or fantasy land?" Poncho replies with, "I'm just trying to listen to a wrestling podcast" in a very tired and whiney voice.

August 2nd, 2013. Back at home base in Tucson more wrestling is watched. DDP Yoga happens in a 3 year old's bedroom on a big number/letter mat. No...the child was not there. We're about caught up with all WWE. It's soon off to Chandler/Phoenix to move on to the next place. There is a pool and with great refrain; there are no wrestling moves performed other than some stretches and some "YES!"

More tomorrow.....

August 06, 2013

My life with wrestling (or when the Poncho Man starts treating this like a real blog)

July 24th, 2013. Poncho Man sits around wishing he could watch Main Event and NXT. This doesn't happen due to them not even being on tv until later that day. Later he plays a show with the band he's in The Lowmen.

July 25th, 2013. Poncho Man gets in a van at 1:30 in the morning and leaves on tour. He has already said "yes" and stuck his arms in the air probably 30 times earlier in the evening. Around 6 PM, The Triple T Threat is driving through the Grapevine outside of LA. Everyone stays dead quiet as he pumps himself up by saying "yes" and kissing his muscles Big Poppa Pump style. Soon it's told to our hero that he scared everyone with his driving. Bums Poncho out. The Lowmen play a show in San Clemente. Poncho wears a yellow tank top.....another professional wrestling reference goes unnoticed. The One Legged P.E. Teacher ends up sleeping in the van in Hunington Beach, CA and downloads Main Event and NXT on somebodies wi-fi.

July 26th, 2013. Sandy Ravage wakes up and proceeds to do DDP Yoga on the balcony of the apartment he's staying at. This is week 14 of DDP Yoga and he knew he had to stick with it. At some point he's trained his band and van mates of the intricacies of the "Yes!" and "No!" Pictures are now peppered with hands in the air exclamations. Stops at Wal-Mart to buy another yellow tank top, and looks at wrestling on DVD. On the way to Las Vegas, Poncho rents a room at Hooters. The Lowmen play a show at the Double Down Saloon. Outside you would have found a few guys doing some DDP Yoga stretches. After the show, 6 strapping men stroll down The Strip. Poncho gets a warning from the cops for "Not following Pedestrian Traffic Signals." Poncho was too busy avoiding traffic and stylin' and profilin' to worry about traffic signals. Someone buys Triple T a yard long margarita. This starts the daily affirmation of "This Is The Greatest Day Of My Life." Return to the hotel around 5:30 AM where it is immediately decided that it's time to put on short shorts and go swimming.

July 27th, 2013. Poncho spends the day recovering. Before going to play a second show at said Double Down Saloon, somebody turns on the tv. Mr. One Legged freaks out because for the first time ever he's seeing Ring Of Honor on a real tv, basic local cable style. He explains to the band how Davey Richards and Eddie Edwards are American Wolves and really awesome, and tries to explain a Cage Match between ROH and SCUM. His band mate exclaims that he enjoys the "double stomp." Show is played at 3 in the morn. Once again, it's time to pass out.

July 28th, 2013. Hey! Get in the van! Mr. Ravage complies. It's off to Chandler, Arizona. Which is basically Phoenix. Show bums Ravage out. It's in a strip mall and not many people are there. The people that were there got a rad show. After, a few of the bands (who had now played 3 shows together) all took pictures. The X-Pac/Syxx Pointing Maneuver comes out in all it's glory. We end up at a house in Tempe drinking until 7 in the morning. Everyone has now accepted the Poncho Man as the Freakzilla he is.

July 29th, 2013. Time for some DDP Yoga in the dining room of our new friend Joel's house. Right in front of the air conditioner as it is about 104 outside. By now, people are beginning to understand that the mix of exercise, cigarettes, energy drinks, positivity, and booze will keep you feeling fresh and awesome forever. Even with extreme lack of sleep. It's into Flagstaff, Arizona. Flagstaff recharges the Poncho Man with a really fun show, great cool weather, and some Shawn Michaels stretching before and after the show. By the way, our singer/drummer has everyone in the crowd stick their hands up and say "Yes!"

July 30th, 2013. We wake up on Fremont St. in downtown Las Vegas. Staying at a nice hotel called "The D"..........

This is where Tristan "Tre" Tower The Triple T Threat The One Legged P.E. Teacher The Poncho Man Sandy Ravage takes a break. He'll continue his adventures and commentary TOMORROW!

July 23, 2013

Reboot?

Extended reading: http://chikaralives.wordpress.com/

and, just for fun...

By the way guys, WWE is shooting two weeks of TV this week, so watch out for spoilers for a while!  Unless, of course, you don't care about spoilers.  Which is like half of you.

July 17, 2013

Mat Classics: BB V RR

In conversation the other day, it came up that Rusty had never seen a Bruiser Brody match.  By coincidence, it is the 25th anniversary of his untimely death.  I'm not going to pretend I'm an expert on Brody, I've only seen about a dozen of his matches myself.  There is one match of his, however, that I've watched over and over.  It's an unusual match in that Brody's the babyface, I guess because the crowd wanted Rick Rude to get his ass kicked so bad.  Brody did have a long-time reputation for being stiff in the ring, but considering how much time he spent in the south and in Japan, that should come as no surprise.  Along with his notorious toughness and roughness, Brody may be best remembered as one of the great "monsters" of wrestling.  Of course, we're used to seeing 6'8", 300 pound dudes like it's no big deal, but what makes Bruiser Brody special is the aura around him.  He's got an incredible presence, which to me almost seems to bust out of the screen, making him one of my favorite wrestlers to watch.



This match was filmed May 4th, 1986, from the WCCW event Parade of Champions 3. Part of why I like the match so much is the way it looks and sounds, with the natural light, bright colors and washed-out colors, old-school sports announcing, and a freakin' awesome behemoth wild man puttin' the hurt onto the Ravenous One, who deserves his own post someday. The title he's defending in this match is the WCWA World Heavyweight Championship, which was basically the NWA's top belt for Texas, except that WCCW had cut ties with the NWA and rebranded the belt in their own image. In it's previous incarnation, it was known as the NWA American Heavyweight Championship (defended exclusively in Texas,) a title which Brody held 4 times between 1977 and 1979.

What's that you say?  No, I didn't use Wikipedia to write this!  I know this stuff COLD.  Well, I might have done a little fact checking...

By the way Poncho, I tagged all your major posts with "Poncho Madness" so that we can search through some of the content on the site more easily (see bottom of sidebar.)  If you want to use a different tag (it could be anything) I'd be happy to relabel the posts, no problem.  You guys have always been real nice about letting me do whatever with the content of the site, but feel free to let me know if you have other ideas or suggestions for improvements. 

July 13, 2013

RR 7/13/2013

3 POSTS IN ONE DAY!!!!!!!!! BOOYAKA!!!


Poncho Man's Money In The Bank Preview.

Two posts in one day?!?! WTF!? Gotta love it...I'll post a response to that in a bit. BUT FIRST

Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls of all ages. Let me proudly present to you....The Monthly PPV Preview show....

Always one of the better PPVs of the year is Money In The Bank. We basically watch waiting for a star to be born, and then we get confused by Jack Swagger and John Cena winning. Knowing us though...we just want CM Punk to win every one of these things. We want him to win even if he's not in the match. Anyway...away we go....

The Shield vs The Usos for the Tag Titles in the Preshow
Wow. I think I care about this. What happened to The Miz? Why is he magically not on the preshow. I miss him. I hope this isn't the blow off and it's actually the beginning of a longer feud. That's probably wishful thinking. Face paint is menacing. I don't know what to really say about this. I'll watch it tomorrow.

Y2J vs Ryback
Really the best part of this is that Jericho is kinda doing a mix of old school Gene Mean, Stinko Malenko, etc Jericho and the newer short haired serious Jericho. This has been oddly booked, it seems like Jericho should win, and Ryback is in desperate need of a win. I'm confused. This makes me miss the Fandango feud.

AJ Lee vs Kaitlyn for the Divas Title.
I miss Mickie James. Layla turn? I don't know. I'm so confused. AJ is evil, but her friend and boyfriend are likeable. I don't know.

The Miz vs Curtis Axel for the Intercontinental Title
Somebody give Curtis Axel some steroids for his pecs. It's really bugging me. Did I mention that The Miz sucks? I can't remember. It will be perfect when he loses.

Heavyweight Title Money In The Bank Match
I'm interested in this. I think the best friends might have some drama in their future. I will be happy with Cody or Cesaro winning. I doubt either of those will happen. As I said recently, I think those two are heads and shoulders above most of the guys on the roster in always having good matches with who ever, AND always being entertaining no matter what garbage they are given. I really don't know who will win though. Ambrose seems poised....but he has a title. Swagger is probably being punished back stage (Claudio and Dutch probably sit together and giggle at how milquetoast Swagger is). Sandow has been pushed lately, and he's great, but his character isn't really built to be a World Champion. Does this leave us Barrett? I really don't know, I think what I'm saying is that nobody has been  built up via storyline to seem like a frontrunner. Maybe that's why I'm so interested.

Money In the Bank All Stars
The Best Thing Going Today. I remember when Shawn Michaels was making his rise. It took quite awhile, but it was obvious for about 2 years that he was the best guy on the roster. Always entertaining, always able to make himself seem like a more credible champion than his huge friend Diesel, and always on. We keep hearing about how Ziggler is the heir apparent to the Heartbreak Kid...but I would argue that it's actually Daniel Bryan. Daniel Bryan is so good that he could be the one that turns Cena heel. I will be shocked if he doesn't win.

Alberto Del Rio vs Dolph Ziggler for the Heavyweight Title
Speaking of Ziggler....I guess the concussion caused him to turn into a good guy. That's weird.

John Cena vs Mark Henry for the WWE Championship
Most entertaining build for a John Cena vs a monster match I've ever seen. What did we get....one stock awful Cena promo? It was totally carried by Mark Henry. He done good. Took him long enough.

Well...those are my thoughts about the PPV. Oh...one last thought....TNA is poorly booked garbage. No matter how good/bad/mediocre/excellent/etc RVD is now that he's 42...there was no way for him to succeed there. There was no narrative for him. He was just another WWE guy coming in. In WWE he's an ECW guy that lost his home, a complete underdog to giants. I'm excited. Maybe it's because I grew up watching him and loving his bad promos and Fonzy and his Jerry Lawler feud. He may not be the same as he used to be, but jeez....he's a great choice to help build some new talent (hence my Ambrose thought) because of the history he'll have surrounding him (Heyman, Cena, Lawler, etc). That's my piece.

Okay....goodnight gracie. Enjoy the show!

You Think It's that Easy? I Got a Lot Left in the Tank!

Some random thoughts on the current state of affairs in the world of professional wrestling, just to keep the ball rolling on our little wrestle-blogging home.  Gotta keep them tumbleweeds clear, cobwebs wiped, and hose off those crusty Jordans.  It's time to shoot!  (cue music)

1:  Vickie Guerrero rules extremely.
For the past three or four years, it's been no secret that Vickie Guerrero was capable of getting more heel heat than anyone else on the entire WWE roster.  How foolish did The Miz or Wade Barrett look when they were cutting bad guy promos, and trying to establish themselves as the new anti-Cena, when Vickie could come out and get twice the reaction in half the time?  She's been a top heel for years, and deserves a ton of credit for her ability to get that reaction.  I don't know anything for sure, of course, but I kind of assume that her write-off from Raw on Monday was to give her some time off, which she'll maybe spend with her daughter who was recently released from developmental, but you've gotta believe that the door to come back would always be open for the "screech queen."

2:  What is going on with TNA?
I don't watch Impact anymore.  Anyone wanna field this?  I do know that the Young Bucks briefly reprised their roles as Generation Me on a TNA PPV recently (although it was taped months ago).  I think Bully Ray is the heel champion, and leader of heel faction Aces & Eights.  I've also heard that the Main Event Mafia has been resurrected (in a babyface kinda format), and that the gaps left by Booker T, Scott Steiner and Kevin Nash have been filled by Magnus and "Rampage" Jackson.  Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh I think I just remembered why I don't watch Impact anymore.  Did you guys hear how many guys were recently laid off from the roster?  A bunch.  Still there: Hogan, Bischoff, Taz...  On second thought, I don't care "what is going on with TNA."

3:  Chikara..... Dead?
There are two stories going around.  ONE: it's all an elaborate work.  Chikara has temporarily shut down and is losing money just to make us all speculate and mark out about how awesome they are for doing this.  There will still be a show/gathering in Easton, PA on July 20th, since Icarus posted about how he plans to be there on the official forum.  TWO: it's all an elaborate illustration of the basic reality that Chikara is in fact history.  Mike Quackenbush lost the company as a part of a divorce settlement, and shut it down to maintain his pride, and the integrity of Chikara.  Only time will tell if Chikara is truly gone or not.  In either case, it easily had the 2nd best 11-year run in modern Independent wrestling, second only to ROH.  It's a real comfort to know that (from what I understand) the Chikara School of Wrestling continues to be fully operational.  If Chikara is gone, I'll really miss the stories and booking, but it would be a much greater loss if their school were no longer operational, considering how many great talents they've populated the Indy scene with.

4:  Podcasts.
I listen to two pro-wrestling podcasts.  The Art of Wrestling by Colt Cabana has been a standby for years and I know you guys know about it.  It's awesome.  Somewhat recently though, I've added another to my list, and that's the Steve Austin Show.  I want to especially recommend the latest episode, in which he interviews himself, because he basically uses the format to expound on the psychological aspects of putting together a match from the heel and babyface perspectives.  A really well spoken discourse coming from (arguably) the most successful wrestler EVER.  I'd also recommend the Bret Hart, Terry Funk, and Lance Storm episodes.

69:  Daniel Bryan, American Dragonson.
As the Rocksmeister Heavy Salvage stated last week, Daniel Bryan is the best thing going right now.  It's so true that it basically goes without saying, but there it is, I agree.  At the end of Raw, do we think that he turned heel, or do we think that he was just setting up a little tension for the all-babyface ladder match?  There've been heel turn rumors for DBD for a while now, but it's hard to believe that he'd really be booked that way, considering how starved WWE is for strong good guys right now.  Anything is possible however, and a brief heel run could actually set Bryan up for an even better face character.

187: Hoopla Hobbies
I was pretty sore at ROH in general when their World Champion Jay Briscoe made violently hateful homophobic comments on his twitter a few months ago.  Honestly, it took a few weeks before I could watch their show again, and when he was on screen, it made me sick to look at him, even though he'd been one of my favorites beforehand.  Now, I wouldn't wish bodily harm on anybody, but I can't say I feel any bad feelings about Jay's recent injuries.  I even have to admit that his being stripped of the title feels pretty damn justified.  Now I'm doubly ready to jump back into ROH whole-heartedly, especially due to the impending single-elimination tournament to crown the next ROH Champion!  Yeah!

420:  Arr Vee Dee!  Arr Vee Dee!
After watching him for a few years on TNA, I thought his only matches worth a damn were the ones he was booked favorably in.  I'm honestly not expecting much from his WWE return, but I'm still trying to keep an open mind.  He's still in great shape and is obviously a tough SOB.  Still loving Poncho Sandy Vag's idea for the Ambrose feud, even though I'd only give it about a 50/50 chance of yielding any worth-a-shit matches.
 
903.9:  Baby, I'm Comin' Home.
OK Ponch, you're not sold on his matches, but I'm hoping you're at least more open now to the idea of a credible Mark Henry than you used to be. When working against faces like Bryan and Punk, the matches were nothing short of classic.  We'll see what the feud with Cena brings us.  Best case scenario in my opinion would be for Henry to give Cena the Disneyworld Splash, DBD to win the Raw briefcase, resulting in a reboot of their 2011 WHWC feud.  Those were good times.  Worst case scenario: what we all would have imagined a Cena/Henry feud to be like in 2010.

2013:  Eater of Worlds
It was just a few minutes out of a (hopefully) very long career, so I'm not gonna get too bent out of shape.  Truth be told, I was disappointed by the way the Wyatt family debuted on Monday, and I'll tell you why.  I will never forget my first introduction to the Bray Wyatt character.  I haven't gone back to listen to it, but I know on some episode of the MMS I talked about the FCW debut of the character.  It was a pretaped promo, with Eli Cottonwood in the background, and Wyatt talking about how he'd committed patricide via houseboat arson.  When he debuted live, he came out with a mic and cut an absolutely wicked promo before decimating his opponent with a bevy of heavy moves capped off with Sister Abigail.  That was (and is) his strength-- creepy, intimidating promos, and signature power moves.  When neither were featured in his Raw debut, I was disappointed.  I'm not going to gripe about it though, since I'm guessing he'll have a chance to talk and cut a real promo very soon.

I will make one passing gripe, though.  Who blows out an electric lantern?  That's silly.

Over 9,000:  Stealing the Show, your Girlfriend, and your Suspension of Disbelief.
I just hope he can stay over as a babyface.  I don't expect Del Rio to provide any more heel heat for him ( the double turn match was crazy good, but Del Rio's right back to his old character, just as stale as it was when he left it.) I figure if Ziggler can just keep his mouth shut and work he should be fine for a while.  Does that sound pessimistic?  Whatever, I know I'm just a mark.

July 07, 2013

Tumbleweeds.

Quiet around here. Almost like we all quit watching wrestling. I actually have been watching tons of wrestling, but I haven't been good about keeping notes about all the indie stuff I've been watching. Lots of ROH, some other random stuff, and I've been catching up with Evolve. When I get around to it...I'll post some Evolve thoughts in the forums. I guess I've mostly been lazy.

I had a new roommate move in a few weeks ago. He's actually a co-worker, BUT he has shown mild interest in watching some wrasslin'. So far he's high on Mick Foley and seems to be more interested in WWE than anything else (replace Mick Foley with CM Punk and it sounds like somebody around here). He's going to watch the Ric Flair Documentary on one of his box sets soon. We'll move on to Foley's and some others soon....I feel those documentaries are really good and helpful for people who have no history, and are just getting into stuff. Let me know what you guys think about "must see" stuff. We watched Taker vs Foley Hell In The Cell, Punk vs Cena Money in the Bank, and Funk vs Sabu Barbed Wire Match. Punk vs Cena was the one I could tell was hardest for him to get through.

I totally forgot to comment on the Marshall's last post, but I do agree that WWE did seem revitalized with having Punk back. I'm quite enjoying his "tweener" storyline. I honestly think his character is built to be a Attitude Era style tweener. I'm enjoying a lot of stuff. Mark Henry. Jeez. Not sold on his matches...but jeez.

Cesaro is involved in the best/worst story ever. Lately I'm just in love with the in ring work of Cesaro and Cody Rhodes. I haven't seen a bad match from either of these guys in quite awhile. Then they wrestled each other on Main Event. That was nice.

Ambrose hasn't seemed to have a really great match yet. I'm worried that he forgot how to wrestle singles.

Are THEY here yet? Go watch the Queens Of The Stone Age "Someone's In The Wolf" video.

Miz Sucks.

Am I the only person in the world that thinks the Prime Time Players are money?

Did I call it or what? Mr. Monday Night! I actually hadn't read anything about him officially coming back or even being in talks when I made that comment about him coming back at the last ppv. I guess I'd just been reading that his TNA contract was up, and that he was working indies (which he never does). I watched him wrestle Tommy Dreamer and they had a fun "last match." I think it's just time. I guess he's going to have a Chris Jericho like schedule, and hopefully he can help put some guys over. If they can come up with a good storyline I think he and Ambrose could have a great "violent" feud.

The Christian return has really worked for me. He's a pro. His presence and demeanor are very similar to Jericho's...and it's obvious Vince loves this. The kinda stilted "safe" work attitude. I don't know how to verbalize it...

By the way....Miz sucks...and he also does what I'm trying to describe. Obvious why he's still with the company. Ug.

DBD is just the best thing going right now. More on this next weekend when I do my Money In The Band Preview.

I think Kassius Ohno and Sami Zayn are going to get eaten.

Big E Langston is one of the most loveable heels I've seen in quite awhile. He's taken quite well to this business and hope he continues to bridge the gap between funny and monster....while not becoming Tensai.

I think that's my thoughts for today. Enjoy

June 17, 2013

How'd You Like an Elbow Sandwich

Wow, after last night's surprisingly good PPV and today's Raw, the WWE seems totally revitalized.  The past few weeks, as we've been saying, have been difficult to sit through.  It's nice to be passionate about WWE again.  I'm not sure if you guys are up to speed, so I'm not going to spoil anything, but I will say that the Ziggs/ADR match must be seen to be believed, and Raw this week was unmissable.  I'm gonna say it was on par with the Raw after Mania.






June 15, 2013

Poncho's Payback Preview!!!

Hey, it's Saturday before a PPV. As is tradition here lately, Poncho Man is here to give his thoughts. Sitting at work, listening to Colt's podcast, kicking ass, and living in a post watching Man Of Steel world...so here we go...

Sheamus vs Damien Sandow (Payback Pre-Show)
I hate the fact that a match with actual build up, that actually made Sandow work and get over, will end in Sheamus killing him in a free match on the internet. Those promos were great though, and hopefully they'll keep using him in this genius (get it? huh huh?) way. Oh...and The Miz isn't on this match!? Lame!

Kaitlyn vs AJ Lee for the Divas Title
I wish Big E was my secret admirer. I guess this had a three month build. Better than a kick in the pants. So AJ and Dolph and be partners with belts. How adorable....

Dean Ambrose vs Kane for the United States Championship
Pretty cool. Beat Kofi. He'll beat Kane. The rise of Ambrose to being a main eventer is coming. Giggling to myself over the dream of watching Ambrose vs DBD headlining a PPV and DBD being a face that isn't groan worthy.

Wade Barrett vs. The Miz vs. Curtis Axel for the Intercontinental Match
I have no idea what they'll do with this match. You would think Axel will win, but I'm not sure. It depends on how the Jericho vs Punk match is booked. Man, having managers back is rad. It brings a whole new thing to the booking lately. WWE doesn't give a shit about Barrett and Miz anymore....I guess I'm kinda intrigued.

Rollins and Reigns vs DBD and Randy Orton for the Tag Belts
Yes! Yes! Yes!
To Everything (Turn, Turn, Turn)
There is a season (Turn, Turn, Turn)
And a time to every purpose, under Heaven
This match is for The Byrds.

Chris Jericho vs CM Punk
I touched on this the other day. I think what I'm mostly thinking about this is that our little group here at least pays attention. I really really really hope this match is better than the last few. I wasn't super into them the first time; maybe I was just too excited that nothing could live up to my brain's match. This could be huge!

Ziggy vs ADR for that other belt.
This match gives me a concussion. It's like I'm lost in a fog.

John Cena vs Ryback in a Three Stages of Hell Match for the WWE title.
Well, I was wrong last month when I said it would be a Super Cena match. Well if I'm wrong about this being a Super Cena spectacular I might have to eat a cake hat. By the way, Rusty doesn't seem to understand how over Cake Hat is. He's not mentioned it once.

Well, this seems like a better booked event than last month, but I'm still not sure if I'm super stoked. Mildly stoked? Or maybe more stoked for The Wyatt Family. Dun Dun Dunnnn.


June 11, 2013

Ever Get The Feeling You've Been Cheated?

For the first time in like 4 years I watched Monday Night Raw with commercials, at the regular time, and on a real tv. You know...the way I watched it in middle and high school for years. As my parents would be watching something in the other room.

I don't know if it was me, or the change in how I normally watch...but that shit was horrible. I guess I liked the Cesaro vs Sin Cara match that was completely pointless and built around building Swagger. We might argue that DBD vs TBSR (I know you can figure that out) was a good match, but it kinda wasn't....it was mostly DBD being awesome, SR doing the same thing back to him, DBD  being awesome, etc......I have a feeling that once again DBD got over instead of Sheamus and Vince is probably pissed.

Now we get another PPV where was don't really care about anything. The Punk/Jericho non-feud will be sooooo exciting with all that story  giving them reason to hate eachother....you know that the good guy broke a bottle on the bad guy's head. Ug.....this is "I don't remember what happened three weeks ago, so why would the audience?" at it's best. Maybe I'm tired and grumpy......

Or maybe it's that Chikara is doing the simply greatest work ever in the history of the business. Anything based around time travel, magic, doppelgangers, and the cancellation of every show to the point where I can't even plan a vacation to So Cal to see Chikara right now. I've been reading just about everything I can find on the net...it's all fascinating.

Thanks Mike Quackenbush for making me happy.

May 31, 2013

SCN: Nefarious Xylophone Tactics

So, I've been enjoying Raw and Smackdown lately.  Not going crazy for them, but The Shield rules and they get a lot of TV time, so I'm happy.  But this post is about the WWE program which I get the most excited about overall-- NXT.  It isn't the wrestling or the promos, I mostly get excited about the potential, before it can be diluted and mucked up by a committee of soap-opera-writing eggheads.  Also, Brad Maddox's color commentary is delightful, and he should replace Jerry Lawler posthaste.

There are spoilers in this post, but nothing major.


1st match:  Wyatt Family vs. Jobbers
I thought the two guys making their virgin appearance on NXT looked like they had potential.  The one with tattoos actually looked pretty menacing, although the other just looked pretty.  Like a poor man's Adam Cole.  In the case of the Wyatt Family, I feel like Luke Harper carries the fuck out of Eric Rowan.  I hope that I'm wrong about that.  Either way, WHEN they come up to the main roster (day after Payback?) they can start recruiting more guys anyway.  Fingers crossed for Big Brodus.

Stephanie McMahon announces NXT Diva's title
At one point during her monologue, Mrs. Thegame referred to it as a "women's championship", which gave the belt a fleeting moment of actual dignity.  It made me happy, until I remembered how the WWE actually books their female talent.

2nd match:  Emma vs. Audrey Marie
I was really disappointed when Audrey Marie was let go from developmental last month (NXT is pre-taped way in advance).  Fortunately, Emma's still on the team, and the Emmalution is running strong.  Women's matches on NXT have been really fun to watch since Sara Del Rey's been training, as evidenced by Emma's finisher, an inverted STF (aka the Muta Lock, aka the Emma Lock).  I guess you could say Keiji's being Emmatated.

One of the reasons I root for Emma is because I used to watch her on Lance Storm's old reality show World of Hurt, which was kind of like Tough Enough except it was way more real.  (side note: one of my favorite Lance Storm quotes is "The only thing more fake than pro wrestling is reality TV.")  The show followed about 8 mostly-trained wrestlers as they got more trained by the [other] technical expert from Calgary.  Another one of the trainees made his NXT debut this week, in the role of a manager.

3rd match:  Redneck Tag Team (managed by Sylvester Lefort) vs. Another Tag Team
Even though he didn't do much, this match was all about Sylvester Lefort.  On World of Hurt, his character was the French Stallion, an oily and arrogant French alphamale who by all appearances seemed to live the gimmick.  He was reliably the scene-stealer of the show, and I can't wait to see where he goes in the WWE.


4th match: Derrick Bateman vs. Big E Langston
Bateman was released at the same time as Audrey Marie.  I won't miss him at all, but I do feel kind of bad that he was let go just after he FINALLY cut off that nardy pube-fro.


5th match: 18 man battle royale for #1 contendership for NXT title
So much green you could have mowed that ring.  Obviously, I'm not going to spec every aspect and participant in this, so I'll try to stick to bullet points.
-Briley Pierce and Sakamoto were also recent fires (fyi).
-Adrian Neville is already way more over than I thought he'd be (due to size/ears), but I'm glad I was wrong and of course can't wait to see him on regular TV.
-A little worried Kassius Ohno will never get there, or will only be sparingly used as an experienced guy who can help get younger, less talented guys over.
-Mason Ryan is as godawful as ever.
-Bray Wyatt's new look as the Phantom of the Butchershop isn't nearly as cool as his old Max Cady outfit.
-"Sister Abigail" is the best name for a finisher I have ever heard.  Unfortunately, as soon as Michael Cole says it, it will lose a mighty fraction of its coolness.