SCN: Nefarious Xylophone Tactics

So, I've been enjoying Raw and Smackdown lately.  Not going crazy for them, but The Shield rules and they get a lot of TV time, so I'm happy.  But this post is about the WWE program which I get the most excited about overall-- NXT.  It isn't the wrestling or the promos, I mostly get excited about the potential, before it can be diluted and mucked up by a committee of soap-opera-writing eggheads.  Also, Brad Maddox's color commentary is delightful, and he should replace Jerry Lawler posthaste.

There are spoilers in this post, but nothing major.

1st match:  Wyatt Family vs. Jobbers
I thought the two guys making their virgin appearance on NXT looked like they had potential.  The one with tattoos actually looked pretty menacing, although the other just looked pretty.  Like a poor man's Adam Cole.  In the case of the Wyatt Family, I feel like Luke Harper carries the fuck out of Eric Rowan.  I hope that I'm wrong about that.  Either way, WHEN they come up to the main roster (day after Payback?) they can start recruiting more guys anyway.  Fingers crossed for Big Brodus.

Stephanie McMahon announces NXT Diva's title
At one point during her monologue, Mrs. Thegame referred to it as a "women's championship", which gave the belt a fleeting moment of actual dignity.  It made me happy, until I remembered how the WWE actually books their female talent.

2nd match:  Emma vs. Audrey Marie
I was really disappointed when Audrey Marie was let go from developmental last month (NXT is pre-taped way in advance).  Fortunately, Emma's still on the team, and the Emmalution is running strong.  Women's matches on NXT have been really fun to watch since Sara Del Rey's been training, as evidenced by Emma's finisher, an inverted STF (aka the Muta Lock, aka the Emma Lock).  I guess you could say Keiji's being Emmatated.

One of the reasons I root for Emma is because I used to watch her on Lance Storm's old reality show World of Hurt, which was kind of like Tough Enough except it was way more real.  (side note: one of my favorite Lance Storm quotes is "The only thing more fake than pro wrestling is reality TV.")  The show followed about 8 mostly-trained wrestlers as they got more trained by the [other] technical expert from Calgary.  Another one of the trainees made his NXT debut this week, in the role of a manager.

3rd match:  Redneck Tag Team (managed by Sylvester Lefort) vs. Another Tag Team
Even though he didn't do much, this match was all about Sylvester Lefort.  On World of Hurt, his character was the French Stallion, an oily and arrogant French alphamale who by all appearances seemed to live the gimmick.  He was reliably the scene-stealer of the show, and I can't wait to see where he goes in the WWE.

4th match: Derrick Bateman vs. Big E Langston
Bateman was released at the same time as Audrey Marie.  I won't miss him at all, but I do feel kind of bad that he was let go just after he FINALLY cut off that nardy pube-fro.

5th match: 18 man battle royale for #1 contendership for NXT title
So much green you could have mowed that ring.  Obviously, I'm not going to spec every aspect and participant in this, so I'll try to stick to bullet points.
-Briley Pierce and Sakamoto were also recent fires (fyi).
-Adrian Neville is already way more over than I thought he'd be (due to size/ears), but I'm glad I was wrong and of course can't wait to see him on regular TV.
-A little worried Kassius Ohno will never get there, or will only be sparingly used as an experienced guy who can help get younger, less talented guys over.
-Mason Ryan is as godawful as ever.
-Bray Wyatt's new look as the Phantom of the Butchershop isn't nearly as cool as his old Max Cady outfit.
-"Sister Abigail" is the best name for a finisher I have ever heard.  Unfortunately, as soon as Michael Cole says it, it will lose a mighty fraction of its coolness.