December 21, 2015

2015 Part 2: Poncho vs. Frankie The Thumper (The Reckoning)

So many posts. I was looking and saw that 2012 had like 122 posts total, and the last three years will have exactly 122 (when this is posted). Is it us or is it wrestling? Probably a little of both. Well, The Marshalls list is pretty dang good, but I just wanted to throw out a few other nods so we maybe get a bigger picture.


Best Commentary: Not that I'm disagreeing with Kevin Kelly and Steve Corino, but a few shout outs to the competition.
1. Mauro Ranallo (our soon to be future Smackdown commentator) and Josh Barnett on NJPW are quite good, but for some reason they don't seem to have urgency about things. Maybe it's the fact the matches are old, and maybe it's my fault for knowing who's going to win.
2. Matt Striker and Vampiro. I have no clue if they'll be back this year, but I've always enjoyed Striker's overly-pedantic way of talking about wrestling. We'll come back to Lucha Underground soon.
3. Leonard F. Chikarason and Mike Quackenbush/Leonard F. Chikarason and Bryce Remsburg. These two are great for completely different reasons. Bryce and Leonard are hilarious with Bryce making tons of weird references and Chikarason trying to keep up just makes you laugh.  Quackenbush and Chikarason are completely different, they're the closest you'll get to Vince McMahon and Gorilla Monsoon in these days. Quackenbush just knows the stories and what you're supposed to get out of them more than anybody else. The nice thing about having the booker on commentary.


Happenstance Of The Year That Probably Led To Another Amazing Feud: I'm going a little esoteric here. Sami Zayn's shoulder injury is what I think directly led to John Cena vs. Kevin Owens. It would have been really weird that Zayn would have this amazing match with Cena on RAW and then just went back to NXT full time. I think he was supposed to be coming up, and then Owens basically got his spot. This is all conjecture, but I've thought about it a lot.


Moment Of The Year: Archibald Peck's Shocking Return at Top Banana.


The Miz Award (Best Guy Pretending To Be A Wrestler): Matt Riddle in Evolve. Supposedly this guy might be starting at the Performance Center soon, but he's just awful. He's a former UFC guy that you can tell was just a star on the Ultimate Fighter without even watching the show ever. He just says bro a lot, looks awful, and quickly wins with arm bars. He's now in a stable with Drew Gulak and Hot Sauce Tracy Williams.


Promotion Of The Year: This will be contested but I'm giving it to Lucha Underground. I like storytelling. Lucha Underground really felt like a comic book miniseries set in the world of pro wrestling. It was new, exciting, and looked really good. Familiar characters, and brand new characters. I can't wait for the next miniseries.


Random Podcast Rant: I've had at least 2 people lately (and a few before) bring up the Radiolab about The Montreal Screwjob. When explaining my love of independent wrestling I love to bring up that it's all connected. Everyone has wrestled somebody else from every promotion in the world. It's all a big picture with a huge complicated continuity based on fiction AND reality.


Best Non-Wrestling Wrestling Thing: Max Landis' Wrestling Isn't Wrestling....available on YouTube


Total Non Sequitur: Nothing to do with 2015, but I'm now on to 1994 WCW. When I'm doing things like typing long winded wrestling reviews I just have the network on playing Clash's and PPVS and mostly just listening and glancing up if something cool is happening. Things I appreciate now that I probably hated when I was little....Mr. #1derful Paul Orndorff and his skinny arm. Dude was past his prime, and just a perfect heel. Even being saddled with Paul Roma didn't hurt him. I also enjoy how The Nasty Boys seem to have the same match constantly, but it was really good. I never liked Missy Hyatt as a kid, but when she turned "Nasty" and got even sluttier....WOAH. Steve Corino was right.


Other Matches Of The Year: (not in particular order...just numbered for the hell of it.)
1. Brock Lesnar vs John Cena vs Seth Rollins from Royal Rumble
I'll never forget watching this in the bar in San Fran while on tour. It was an incredibly good match that everyone just forgot about because the Rumble itself was the worst thing ever. This was the beginning of Cena's highlight year of Amazing Wrestling. (I really hate saying that).


2. Kevin Owens vs John Cena from Elimination Chamber
The moonsault! The package piledriver tease! THE WIN! Pure emotion built on that continuity from the indies I was just talking about.


3. Daniel Bryan vs Roman Reigns from Fastlane
Another match we forget about because the outcome was terrible. It was honestly the only really good moment Bryan had this year, and he took a lower level talent to the mountain top, and had a lot of little marks like us hoping and praying.


4. Tomohiro Ishii vs Tomoaki Honma from NJPW The New Beginning In Sendai
This was my second favorite NJPW match of the year under the Marshall's #1. It was another moment of hoping and praying, just with a lot more brutality than the last match. AND we got to see the pay off we wanted a few months later.


5. Drew Galloway vs Roderick Strong from Evolve 36
So this "match" is only like 8 minutes long. It is also a "no contest." It's just two guys beating the holy hell out of each other, spitting booze in faces, kicking announcers, going crazy. This was the moment that I fell in love with Roderick Strong and the moment I knew WWE had dropped the ball with Galloway.


Event Of The Year: I think it's a tie between Lucha Underground's Ultima Lucha and Chikara's Top Banana. Both shows had more "FINALLY!!!" moments than any other promotion this year.


Overall Feeling About Wrestling This Year: It's been a rough year. This is where having "my guys" has been hard. I still have this really really big beard. Just last week Reigns was hot shot to the top. I have a feeling that probably gets WWE's "long term storytelling" back on track. I just have no idea where there going, and why I care.
      Nakamura's elbow was a real bummer for me this summer. G1 was still good, but his matches weren't grade A Nakamura (barring the Final...which still coulda been better...or I'm just pissed about the outcome...can't tell). I really was hoping for just this incredible run of 5 star matches and lots of giggling and glee coming from my mouth.
      Seems like RD Evans is retired. I haven't decided if Dalton Castle is really one of "my guys" or just somebody I like a lot. (I think The Boys might be "my guys")
      And finally....Roddy Piper and The Dream died.
     This year was kind of a bummer. Or maybe my personal life was a bummer and I got too involved in wrestling and took it personally. That's more likely. Wrestling is never really a bummer. Sometimes I watch TNA and it's still way better than stuff that totally sucks. Like The Eagles.





December 20, 2015

2015: A Marshall Odyssey

Greetings all Revolutionists and Space Cadets,
I've been looking forward to writing this post since January 4 of this year, when NJPW's Wrestle Kingdom 9 took place, and Poncho came over and we watched some sick wrestling, and wondered if the rest of the year would measure up.  Now, looking back, I can say that it was indeed a stellar year all-around for wrestling (not to be confused with Sports Entertainment, for which 2015 was not such a banner stretch).  I have a handful of my favorite matches of the year to share today, and so doing, hope to memorialize their entertainment value for every single person who follows and patronizes this fake blog.   First though, a few non-match highlights:

Best Commentary: Kevin Kelly and Steve Corino easily bag this for the third year running.  The only competition that got remotely close was the team of Kevin Kelly and Mr. Wrestling III.

Character Feud of the Year: Another ROH coup, the rivalry between Dalton Castle and Silas Young has been so much fun, it's like smooth fair-trade dark chocolate is pouring out of the screen right into my eyeballs.

Crush of the Year: Karl Anderson's obsession with Maria Kanellis was equally as entertaining as Castle-Young, but the candle burned brighter and went out sooner.  This would have also won for comedy segments of the year, both for the interludes Anderson would take mid-match to dance towards Maria, and for the interviews afterward when he'd say he came "this close" to kissing her.

Podcast of the Year: Tempting to also give this one to Anderson (and company) for their ridiculous and irreverent Talk N Shop (certainly the funniest wrestling podcast), but I have to give the award to Cheap Heat, because I can listen to it at work for an hour, and it saves me from having to watch 3 hours of Raw at home.

Best Turn: Tetsuya "The Stardust Genius" Naito was solid in the NJPW roster as a white-meat babyface.   He'd had some career highs a couple years back, but had faded back to the midcard and seemed to have settled there pretty neatly.  Slapping hands, kissing babies, and just wanting to put on the best match possible (win or lose) was the order of the day for the Naito of 2014.  A year later, he's the leader of a growing stable of black-clad rule-shirkers, and is using his new character to draw incredible energy out of his matches.  He's proved over and over that not only can his matches not be missed, but they must be watched without blinking, lest the viewer miss something dastardly and cool.

Best Event of the Year: G1 Climax 25. All 4 weeks of it, hard to beat that.  Shoutout to the MVP of the tourney, Tomohiro Ishii.  He wasn't the only one who had nothing but great matches in the 100-match series, but he was particularly impressive.  He turned 40 a couple weeks ago.

Wrestling Website of the Year: Spare Change Wrestling Online. We are the dog's balls, the rat's twats, and the cat's pajamas.   I'm not sure how complementary that really is, but who am I to argue with the census takers?

Top 5 matches of the year:
Before I list these off, I have to qualify my opinions by admitting I haven't seen the majority of wrestling which has happened on Earth for the past 12 months.  That being said...

5. Kyle O'Reilly vs. Ricochet/ Roderick Strong, Black Cole Sun, 12/12/14, PWG
Technically, this match happened last year, but was released for general viewing this year, and it would be a shame to skip over it.  These were really two matches, but I'm combining them because O'Reilly wrestled them back-to-back, and it's his performance that is really being highlighted here.  The first match, a world title challenge earned by Ricochet, was a styles clash that proved each competitor to be a master of his own multifaceted game, and they took each other to their limit.  When Roddy came out afterward and goaded O'Reilly into giving him a title match, it seemed impossible, but O'Reilly indulged a whole other high-octane match, working to a totally different style, but keeping the momentum of the narrative at full throttle. By the end of the night, he'd held the crowd in the palm of his hand for about an hour, through two completely different matches.  I didn't make room for the category last year, but if I'd thought of it, Ricochet definitely would've won Wrestler of the Year, for having won the Super Junior and King of LA tournaments, as well as being the first gaijin Dragongate champ and making his tv debut on Lucha Underground.  This match was the last feather in his cap of an incredible year.  For Roddy, this is no exception in the force-of-nature run he's had across the indies, which probably brought him back up to his rightful place toward the top of the ROH card.

4. Bayley vs. Sasha Banks, NXT:Takeover Brooklyn, 8/22/15, WWE
One of the most fun things about being a wrestling fan is getting emotionally invested in your favorite characters, and allowing yourself to be manipulated by the machinations of the matches they have.  I don't think I've ever had as many "happy wrestling tears" as I did when watching this amazing match unfold.  This isn't on the list to give some kind of pity point to WWE/NXT, this was legitimately one of the best matches of the year, and it might be the most memorable when I'm thinking back 5 years from now.

3. Kazuchika Okada vs. AJ Styles, King of Pro-Wrestling, 10/11/15, NJPW
I watched this with the Poncho Man a few days after it happened.  The audio cut out mid-way through the event, and we were bantering and snacking to make up for the silence, until the main event came on.  It was the awesomest feeling, because we were so mesmerized, the silence only punctuated how cool the match was.  Both of these guys were top-level standouts in the G1 Climax.  Okada's been amazing for a few years, and has kept getting even better, it's awesome to see a legend in the making.  AJ set the world on fire this year, continuing his hot streaks in New Japan and ROH, as well as memorable turns in Revolution Pro, Chikara, and lots of other, smaller promotions all over the place.

2. Jay Lethal vs. Roderick Strong, Death Before Dishonor XIII, 7/14/15, ROH
I think my favorite wrestling moment of the year, if I had to put my finger right on it, would be the moment I realized this match was going to go the whole hour.  At about 40-45 minutes in, it was especially exciting because they'd shown no signs of playing for time.  There are very few movies I enjoy as much as a super-good movie-length wrestling match, and this was like a Terminator 2-level bad-assery.  Jay Lethal's had a stellar and decorated year, holding both the ROH TV title and their World Title for most of it.  Now that I'm thinking more about it, the wrestling moment of the year was when Lethal won the World Title from Jay Briscoe.  That was a jump up and jump around and shout event.

1. Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Kota Ibushi, Wrestle Kingdom 9, 1/4/15, NJPW
Right after it was over, Poncho and I agreed it would be hard to beat as match of the year.  Since then, I've shown this match to wrestling virgins no less than 7 times, and each time I felt a smug satisfaction knowing what a treat they were in for.  This match was so easy to read that every person I showed it to was completely transported, and became actively engaged in its plot, as though it were any kind of ballgame or film.  It's a perfect example of storytelling within the match, which is so much more interesting, engaging, and artful than expositional dialogue. 

I couldn't decide on a Promotion of the Year.  I loved New Japan and ROH equally.  AJ Styles is my Wrestler of the Year, given the quality, scope and prodigiousness of his year's work.  I'm split between reDRagon and New Day for Tag Team of the Year.  Kevin Owens wins TV Debut of the Year.  Seth Rollins probably wins for something.  How about Biggest Hole Left in Absence of the Year?  CM Punk wins Best MMA Fighter of the Year.  WWE wins Worst Use of Over Talent of the Year for taking Damien Sandow off TV.  Vampiro wins Entrance of the Year, for his match with Pentagon Jr (another great match).  Maybe I'll think of more later.  What have you guys got?

December 17, 2015

A Final Battle Preview

Hello my donut holes and jalapeño poppers,
It's time to talk about some boys who grew some boys. A moose with a big pair of horns. Two beards so big that it would be hard to tickle the salt and pepper shakers underneath. And some nuts that are just TOO SWEET.
     Yes, tomorrow brings us Ring Of Honor's biggest event of the year Final Battle. Looks to be one hell of a show.

Cheezburger vs Bob Evans
I doubt it will be on the main show but Chris Jericho's favorite wrestler takes on the evil curmudgeon Brutal Bob in a grudge match where someone will most definitely go through a table.

Dalton Castle vs Silas Young
The Party Peacock has been shocked that his Boys seem to have become Men under the tutelage of Silas and his buddy the Beer City Bruiser. Is it real? Or will The Boys abandon their wife beaters and "Fan Up?"

 Alex Shelley, Matt Sydal, and ACH vs The Addiction and Chris Sabin
After their best of five series, Matt Sydal and ACH are on the same page. The discovery that the recent red masked man is Alex Shelley mimicking and mocking his former partner Chris Sabin has been a revelation. Do Daniels and Kazarian have it in them to beat this new cohesive group of high fliers?

The Briscoes vs The Young Bucks vs the All-night Express
Kenny King's recent shocking return quickly sent the All-Night Express to the top of the tag division. But can they defeat the perennial favorites The Briscoes or those wascally Bucks. Find out who the future #1 contenders really are in this exciting three way.

Moose vs Michael Elgin
Both of these large men have been running through their opponents, in seconds flat, in recent weeks. Moose (a year into his career) is still green as grass, but size can help make up for experience. Does it help enough to beat the future number one contender to the Heavyweight Title?

Adam Cole Baby vs Kyle O'Reilly in a Fight Without Honor
The Future Shock Tag Team Explodes. O'Reilly should be the Heavyweight Champ if it wasn't for that meddling Cole. This looks to be a heated and brutal affair foe the ages.

The Kingdom vs War Machine for the ROH World Heavyweight Tag Team Championship
Those are some big beards trying to upend some very pretty men (and lady). Can The Kingdom continue their reign against the Bearded Behemoths?

Roderick Strong vs Bobby Fish for the ROH Television Championship
A new Era begins as Roddy defends his belt that arguably us now as important as the Heavyweight title. Roddy's last year has been impeccable and Fish might be hard pressed to take this title anytime soon.

Jay Lethal vs AJ Styles for the ROH World Heavyweight Championship
The Poncho Man's last MVP vs The World's Greatest First Generation Wrestler. The House Of Truth's recent addition of Taeler Hendrix has done nothing bit make the H.O.T. hotter and more cohesive than ever. But does that mean Lethal can compete with the former IWGP Heavyweight Champion that just happens to lead the infamous Bullet Club? Or will Truth Martini just will a win out of Lethal with his magical power of persuasion?

So yeah....this is what a preview looks like when there are actually stories. Not just matches on a card. I forgot to do a Takeover preview....but it was an excellent show. I hope you two catch it soon and discuss your favorite matches.

Btw...it's crazy how much WCW improves when Bischoff takes over in 93....or at least becomes a product that appeals to both 11 year old and 33 year old Sandy Ravage. Going to Star Wars tomorrow morn. Wooo...most posts ever?

December 14, 2015

Cojones

How many euphanisms can you come up with for testicles? If you can't think of many, ask Roman Reigns....he's an expert.
I just wanted the both of you to know that I just watched 2 Cold Scorpio vs Chris Benoit from SuperBrawl 3. It was creepy.

Watched TLC tonight. Unimpressed. Kalisto had the moment of the night. I will not be a Roman Reigns apologist no matter how much "they" want me to be.

The character is unlikable no matter what you do with him at this point. I actively root against him when I have no dog in the fight. This is the problem of being a fan of individuals and not the product. When the product gets bad, and you have no real dog in the fight.......

How great was World Tag League Final!? That last match was great! Okada and Tanahashi are heated too!

Okay....my superfluous, buzzed post is now over.



December 11, 2015

T-Boz, Left Eye, and Chili

Look at all these posts! Apparently December rules! Who's excited!? Think about this....CM Punk hasn't wrestled at a TLC ppv since 2011. Random Trivia.

Ryback vs Rusev
Ryback touched Lana. It hurt her. Feud!!!! Whatever.

Alberto Del Rio vs Jack Swagger US Title I think (two months ago this title was awesome...and JC had it).
Zeb and Del Rio broke up. Del Rio is Mexican, Swagger is American. FEUD!!!!!!!! WHATEVER.

ECW Originals vs The Wyatt Family
Ummm.....Tommy Dreamer and Rhyno are willing to put people over. FEUD!!!!!!

Charlotte vs Paige for the Divas Chapyacha
3 weeks ago Paige was a heel and Charlotte was a babyface. 3 weeks later....it might be switched. Paige disrespects old guys. I don't get it. Feud?

The New Day vs The Usos vs Lucha Dragons Ladder Match for the WWE Tag Team Championship
Well....I have high hopes for the match. I guess everybody just hates The New Day. Feud.

Kevin Owens vs Dean Ambrose for the Intercontinental Championship
This could be really really good. Too bad I have no idea why they don't like each other. I've been watching all the Kevin Steen Shows lately. They're delightful. I hoped Truth Martini would be awesome like the last podcast with Colt...but he just talked about his dick. Truth should join Bullet Club.

Sheamus vs Roman Reigns for the WWE World Heavyweight Champyacha in a TLC match or something
Tater tots...or lack thereof. FEUD! Don't care anymore....Roman is awful. There is no thought process into anything.  He is like angry punching wildman...that cuts aw shucks promos about fried potato products and succotash. He has good matches....I'll be shocked if Sheamus pulls one out of him. "Golly gee guys. I want that championship...GRRRR ROAR PUNCH.....oh boy....I did it. Golly gee."

Should I do Final Battle? Or does the Marshall want to? Got World Tag League Finals to watch. Just started 1993 WCW. The Rabid Wolverine just made his second appearance. January has The 4th, 5th TNA goes live with a new champ, and I think the 27th is the return of Lucha Underground. So much good stuff coming down the line.  Anything else? No? Okay.


December 07, 2015

RUSTY REPORT : chips, pop, candy.


What is up my bruthas!It is Me, Rusty, SCW's resident mark. I watched some fudging pro wrestling today and I feel pretty good about myself. How can I not? I watched ECW today. That's natures antidepressant! How could you feel sad after a Public Enemy promo?!

I also watched the Stone Cold Podcast with HHH. Sadly I have to admit that it made me like Trips a whole lot more than i already did. So that was kinda cool. And the show as a whole has turned me around on Stone Cold. The one with Vince was great. I loved seeing his face light up when he talked about how funny it is to push people into pools. That was amazing.

The WWE network just added a bunch of cool stuff into the vault section. Smoky Mountain, Global, AWA and Mid South were all added. I watched an episode with The rockers when they were suuuuuper young. Really looking forward into checking out more of that old garbage. Especially Global which i think I watched daily in the summer of 91.

Got the Superstars The Music Video vhs today. It is still sealed so ill never ever open it in a million years. But it has two of my all time faves on it, Kona Crush and Tatanka. SO i had to get it.

WWE and NXT has sucked lately. Just the usual slump I guess till we get to the Rumble. I guess they are having really bad ratings lately. Who cares. I kinda like the Shaemus run so far. I like dumb gloating heals. They just really need to make some new stars or something. Lots of people are hurt right now and that sucks. I'm looking forward to seeing how they pull outta this.

Well that's it for now. I dont' wanna say goodbye but i gotta. My feelings about this can be found in the following link
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qXjYoGOEnqA

December 05, 2015

I'll post too

Not quite sure why, but Absolutely Intense Wrestling from Cleveland started following me on Instagram. I used to watch them pretty regularly before I started cheating on my girlfriend (wrestling) with a real girl for a year. My favorite story was the drama between Ethan "All Ego" Page and his girlfriend Selezyia Sparx. They also have lots of good indie wrestlers, and for awhile had Veronica managing The Batiri and it was hilarious.

Somebody is playing all the kinda wussy STP songs that girls like on the jukebox. I got pretty lit Thursday night and listened to some STP and all of the second Velvet Revolver album. I enjoyed it much more than I usually do...drunk....at 1 in the morn. Relate this to wrestling? Didn't BJ Whitmer come out to STP or an STP sound alike song pretty The Decade?

Snowflake! No spoilers.

The ACH vs Matt Sydal series has been kinda cool. The matches got to be kinda the same though. I think ACH might be a better storyteller than Matt Sydal. Is Rich Swann...ACH adjace? I wish him luck.

Sad/excited to see Sami Callihan back in the indies. He probably really needed to tweak his character even more if he was gonna make it in NXT. I wonder if ROH would give his body shape a shot.

I ran 12.1 miles today. Listened to AOW with 2 Cold Scorpio, Ross Report with The Dungeon Master, and TIJ with Becky Lynch. My legs feel Becktacularly elastic.

Watching Matt Riddle in Evolve is the greatest, bro. Like, his arm bar is like wikked, bro. He'd like totally beat like everyone. Bro.

My roommate is oddly obsessed with Chris Dickenson because his nickname is "The Dirty Daddy." We're also high on Peter Kaasa because he's yoked and has fluffy hair.

Sorry Rusty, this is a mostly indie post. I was watching some Bill Watt's booked WCW which made no sense. Nobody could jump off the top rope. But you could do a superplex because both guys were up there. Then there was a tag team tournament that had totally different rules. It was described as being like how there are different rules in college vs pros and how "great athletes are able to adapt." This was when Ric Flair was in WWF. It was weird. Dr. Death Steve Williams and Terry Bam Bam Gordy were a tag team that just seemed unstoppable...unless they were facing the Steiners. Then it was at least competitive.

Oh...NXT. I agree with your assessment Rusty. The show isn't really filled with anybody to get behind. I'm cheering for Samoa Joe...but it kinda seems like he might actually be there just for a cup of coffee. Zayn will be back soon. Balor does it for me when he's wearing a leather jacket and looking debonair, but the evil rasta Jeff Hardy is only cool in theory. It's like WWE trying to appeal to the Slipknot crowd...rather than the Gwar crowd. Which makes sence in popularity, but not in credibility. The woman's division took a shit with the rise of angry scary Mom Nia Jax. Alexa Bliss is my fave and she's in no way close to having a match like Sasha, Becky, Charlotte, Emma, or Paige would have. And don't get me started on the no charisma tag team division. Dash and Dawson need toothpicks and to be chewing tobacco for me to believe it.

Eh....I can't think of anything else off the top of my head. Just sending out some random wrestling thoughts. Maybe someday I'll make a book of stream of concious wrestling reviews, and pretentious hippies that love predetermined battles will rejoice.







December 04, 2015

Match Points: Lethal-Strong 3

Match Points is a dorky name for this, so whoever posts the next one, please feel free to come up with something less dorky.  After all, what are we, a bunch of dorks?  Welcome to Dorkchat Wrestling Online.  Dee Dub Oh!  Dee Dub Oh!  Dee Dub Oh!

Since I started my 2nd job in July, I've had a really hard time keeping up with all the wrestling I'd like to be watching.  It seems like every time I get caught up with one thing, I fall behind on another.  So, I don't know how often I'll be able to share stuff, but I'm totally down with getting some more content up in here, so let's get the wrestleball rolling.  This match is from a very recent TV episode of ROH.  The commentators will fill you in on the back story.  I just watched it tonight, so I'd love to share thoughts about it in the comments.  For me, entertaining wrestling of this athletic caliber is what makes ROH the best wrestling promotion outside Japan.

December 03, 2015

MARATHON

I wanna do a marathon soon. Christmas is coming so that might put a damper on things. Also I'm incredibly broke as hell lately. And I dont thing that is going to change for a while. No biggy tho. What if we all posted matches on here and then we could discus it in the comments. It would be a way to share stuff and get to talk a bit more. I just miss you dudes and i also miss watching decent wrestling. What do ya think??

November 25, 2015


November 22, 2015

Poncho's A Survivor

Well, well, well. I almost forgot. Here it is.

Roman Reigns vs Alberto Del Rio Quarterfinal
Well, this is a wrestling match. Would you put money on it?

Dean Ambrose vs Kevin Owens Quarterfinal Match
Well, hopefully this is fun. Who doesn't want to see Ambrose's flying push. Does he turn? So much intrigue.

Dolph Ziggler vs Tyler Breeze
Tyler's big ppv debut. He's seemed ultra prepared for this. Hope his booking stays strong or he'll be Fandango adjace.

Charlotte vs Paige for the Divas Championship
Well, the end of RAW sure caused some kerfuffle. WWE sent out press releases and what not. When I watched it I went "oooooh,"  and it just reminded me of the Attitude Era. I thought it was funny when JR said he didn't like it when he's all about personal issues. Anyway, the segment came out of nowhere, but it was pretty exciting.

The Brothers Of Destruction vs The Wyatt Family
This is fun. Also a reminder that I've been watching WWE for basically 25 years. Maybe that's why I'm forgiving of the product.

Five on Five Traditional Survivor Series Match
New Day Rocks? Hopefully.

Tournament Final
Well, I hope we leave with a heel champion. Believe That.

So weed apparently makes the Attitude Era more enjoyable? I've been marathoning Marvel's Jessica Jones and it's really good. Enjoy the show guys. We'll have a new WWE Champ by the end of the day.

November 08, 2015

SCN: M/ACL&P Struggle part 1: EVIL Rising

Greetings all EVILdoers,

It's November, the orange leaves have mostly dropped, and it's getting rainy here in Oregon. A good time to hunker down a little bit, wrap up with a blanket and a cup of warm tea, sidle up to a loved one (or the guy who just moved in), and chuck another wrestling log onto the fire of life.

Actually, this is just an excuse to write about King of Darkness EVIL. But I'll work up to that. And Rusty, since you will likely have no idea what I'm talking about, please refer to this graphic illustration:


First thing's first, which is that wins and losses are about to matter in WWEland, as a tournament for the WWEWHW Chompyunchiaw will soon be underway. I don't even know who's in it, but I am looking forward to seeing what happens. We've been speculating up a storm, we've got some hopes and some fears... As Poncho postulated, my main fear is that Cena or Reigns win the finals clean. Personally, my main hope is that the tournament will include every member of the roster, making Survivor Series a grueling 5 to 6 hour wrestlethon. Actually, my hope is that DBD returns. Maybe WWE is keeping him on the shelf/off TV for some stupid corporate reason, and maybe they're just keeping him in their back pocket. An ace in the hole. We'll see. And that wouldn't be the best use for him anyway. Oh, it's tonight isn't it? This post may need to be written in 2 parts. I'm only half-way through New Japan's Power Struggle, which was going to be my primary focus.

It seemed like the first half of the event featured 80% of the performers. Two four-on-fours, a three-on-three, a regular tag match, and one singles match. Not much to say about the big multi-mans, they were all fun in their own ways, though fairly low-stakes. A few title matches are teased/set up for the next event or Wrestle Kingdom (or is Wrestle Kingdom the next one?) Chase Owens joins Omega's BC sect, I like them both even if they don't mesh with the rest of BC. I thought Owens deserved an opportunity after his performance in the Super Jrs in June. Everyone was good in that Bullet Club/reDRagon & Time Splitters match, though there wasn't much opportunity for anyone to shine through as an individual. Oh, and Poncho, if you change your handle to Tampico Johnson, I'm going to call you Tampon John. So, yeah, that's awesome.

Matt Sydal (Evan Bourne) and Ricochet versus Rappongi Vice (featuring Trent Baretta) was easily the highlight of the first half of Power Struggle (see how I make this relatable, Rusty?). It's greatness wasn't just because of the spots, the length of match, or the plethora of kick-outs. What I liked most about this match was the pacing of the back-and-forths. It was really clever how the "upper hand" passed back and forth so quickly, and the way the momentum built was way more complex than a typical match, and especially more than a typical juinior tag match. Sydal and Ricochet really brought the best out of RPG, who usually employ more comedy, and a lighter style.

***EDIT: I just fact-checked the below story, and I was totally wrong about one or two details, but I don't intend to correct them. Feel free to "dog" me in the comments.

And that brings us to my Main Event (which was NOT the main event), Hirooki Goto versus King of Darkness, EVIL. This was so gleefully bad. Where to begin? I suppose the beginning...
The young man Takaaki Watanabe debuted to American audiences in 2014 for the ROH/NJPW shows. He was billed as a New Japan guy, despite being still-in-training, and not a regular part of their roster. He stayed in the US, and continued his training with ROH. Over the next year, he made sporadic TV appearances, but didn't get much attention until the ROH/NJPW shows came back around this year. With a few solid performances at those shows, he got over with the ROH faithful, and was booked for more shows and TV spots, including a run at Jay Lethal's Television Championship. This would be Watanabe's final publicized performance under that moniker.

On the other side of the globe, Tetsuya Naito is shocking Japan, having completely shed his good guy, crowd-pleasing persona. Long slow entrances dressed in black, neglecting to tag in, assaulting referees and cameramen, and a bent toward inflicting damage over winning matches are the calling cards which have gained him massive notoriety in a relatively short time. He's officially a member of a heel stable in a Mexican promotion, but has been the only member to appear in New Japan thusfar. For his most recent match, against heated rival Katsuyori Shibata, it seemed a pair of Naitos had appeared to do battle. Cloaked in identical silver skull masks and all-black suits, their approach to the ring was disorienting and intimidating. Naito eventually unmasked and began the match while his second stood motionless. So motionless, in fact, that he didn't budge even while the action between Naito and Shibata spilled out of the ring and raged around him. Only in the 11th hour of the match did the second spring to motion, interfering with the match to deliver some (not so) vicious kicks to Shibata. The interloper then unmasks, revealing... Watanabe.

The stage is set. November 5 2015, NJPW Power Struggle. Hirooki Goto is on the far side of an Intercontinental reign, and looking to balance his recent loss with a tick in the Win column, as well as avenge the assault visited on his BFF Shibata. His opponent, King of Darkness EVIL, is looking to make a statement in his first singles match in New Japan. The music hits. A somber tone envelops the Osaka Prefectural Gymnasium. Now appears EVIL, here to wrestle. A hooded robe hides his face in shadow, and the aluminum scythe he's carrying lets everyone know: he's here for business... and his business is Death. Yeah, he came out looking like a sophomore LARPer, but that was just the beginning. The next layer revealed a RVD-style singlet, black, with an inscrutable black design on the front and back, and purple flames up the sides. Enigmatically emblazoned on his rear end are four Western language characters: C B J 2.  The mystery deepens.

A side-note: Since he was in ROH, EVIL (then Watanabe) has sported a Rollins-esque half black/half bleached head of hair, worn in a ponytail high on the crown of his head. I thought it looked fine, even sorta cool with his gear from that time, as it matched his green/gold theme. Now, in black and purple and black and black, the bleached half looks out of place. Wickedly and treacherously out of place.
All this exposition and the match hasn't even started yet. Oh, and lest I forget EVIL's eyeliner, it is arranged in smudged black triangles under each eye, like a mime might apply without access to a mirror. Okay, now the match. Well, second thought, no, I can't do a play by play of the match like I've done with his wardrobe, that would be ridiculous. Suffice to say, the performance was shabby at best. The crowd booed him a little as a heel in the beginning, more when he pulled a folding chair from under the ring after one minute, then more as his technically unsharpened ringwork became transparent, and more again as he rolled his head back and made mean eyes unconvincingly. Watanabe went to ROH for a year and somehow came back a Sports-Entertainer. They cheered Goto on, but the crowd only picked up when the dastardly but outstanding Naito ran in to save his protégé from a 3 count, Shibata close behind to even the odds.

Even though this was categorically bad, I had fun watching it.  The inception of King of Darkness EVIL is no more the fault of its executor as the fellas who put it on paper.  And regardless of the badness of his first outing, it did serve to build a story and keep Naito busy. 

That's all I've got for now. Part 2 will wait until I've seen Survivor Series and the rest of Power Struggle. Until then, I remain Quarter Marshall.  Good night.

**EDIT: Nevermind, I'm an idiot.  Survivor Series is weeks away.  Part 2 coming soon.

November 06, 2015

Power Struggle 2015 Preview

So one match from the "Road To Power Struggle" got a high score from Dave Meltzer. So sad that nothing is getting uploaded. But alas, here is a preview.

David Finlay, Jay White, Sho Tanaka and Yohei Komatsu vs. Jushin Thunder Liger, Máscara Dorada, Ryusuke Taguchi and Tiger Mask
What a mouth full. So the question as always will be does one of the young boys break the glass ceiling. Doubt it. Prediction: Taguchi pins White


Captain New Japan, Juice Robinson and Togi Makabe vs. Bullet Club (Cody Hall, Doc Gallows and Tama Tonga)
Weird matchup. By the way, when The Poncho Man gimmick runs it's course....I think I'll be Tampico Johnson.

EVIL vs Hirooki Goto
HA! Evil. He gets the big debut win right? Against a guy who got marginally good for a few months and then went back to sucking. EVIL. HA

Alex Shelley, Bobby Fish, Kushida and Kyle O'Reilly vs. Bullet Club (Chase Owens, Kenny Omega, Matt Jackson and Nick Jackson)
Chase Owens is officially Bullet Club? I wasn't into The Cleaner....but this is basically Scott Norton. It's done. Put a fork in it. Tharpe will be next. Sparkly BizCliz jackets.

Matt Sydal and Ricochet vs Roppongi Vice
Flippy Dude Heaven is what I shall dub them. This should be fun. I started back up on PWG from 2007 with my new roomier and we've been enjoying the talents of Rocky Romero.

Bullet Club (A.J. Styles and Bad Luck Fale) vs.Chaos (Toru Yano and Yoshi-Hashi)
I'm trained to expect AJ to be followed by the Young Bucks lately. I'm so confused. AJ has been my MVP lately. Let's hope he continues to be and the merry prankster doesn't sneak one.....even though that might actually be awesome.

Tomohiro Ishii (c) vs.Tomoaki Honma
Over under how many kick outs? 10? Wouldn't it be awesome if Honma won!? How could he defend something when he always loses? How loud would you squeal?

Hiroshi Tanahashi and Katsuyori Shibata vs.Kazuchika Okada and Kazushi Sakuraba
So I read that Sakuraba is fighting a real fight soon. I laugh knowing I thought he was hilarious the first time I saw him...and now I know he's a badass and the most unassuming member of CHAOS....even more than Yoshi-Hashi.

Shinsuke Nakamura (c) vs. Karl Anderson
When I started watching NJPW The Machine Gun was all over the main event....so this is kinda exciting to see his name come up again....even if it seems like he has no chance. My roommate hasn't seen NJPW yet but loves Karl Anderson due to a match he had against Colt Cabana in PWG which was hilarious. He shoots the ceiling and finally Colt....who promptly has a beautiful death scene.

My house is weird now. Somebody to watch wrestling with is bizarre. I think we've watched 16 hours in 2 sittings. Excited for Survivor Series. Will be nice to see how much they hate us or not. Poor Seth. That lack of coffee......

October 23, 2015

Poncho Man's Helly Celly Belly Welly Jelly

I did a DDP Extreme Headstand today. It was sweet. I saw The Marshall last week and apparently I'm gonna see Mr. Nickels  tomorrow. HORSE FEATHERS (with the voice).

Ziggles, Neville, Cesaro vs Sheamus, Rusev, and King Barrett in the previous show.
Real barn burner here.

Charlotte Vs Nikki for the Divas Championship
Hmmmm....the Paige vs Natalya feud is actually more entertaining, and everything was more fun when Sasha wasn't wrestling and the crowd would just chant "we want Sasha." They should waited until it was fever pitch. Charlotte has kinda been a dud....except for watching her dad cry more. Which always makes me happy for some reason.

The New Day vs the Dudley Boyz for the Tag Titles
I kinda see the New Day losing here. Let me explain why.....2 months from now is the TLC PPV. So wouldn't it make sense for the heels to win back the titles in the Dudley's. Also....

The John Cena Open Challenge for the US Title
If it's not Daniel Bryan blowing the roof off and winning....I think The New Day will be sharing the US title for a few months. That would be awesome.

Owens vs The Ryback for the Intercontinental Title
Let me tell you the Secret....Kevin Owens has good matches with everyone because he's one of the best professional wrestlers today. Crazy huh!?

Bray Wyatt vs Roman Reigns in Hell In A Cell
Hopefully this just turns into Reigns cutting a really long awkward promo. Because it's so bad, it's getting over....at least in my house....when I sit and laugh and laugh and laugh.

Seth Rollins vs Demon Kane for the WWE World Heavyweight Title
If Kane loses, Corporate Kane gets fired. This should happen at all publicly traded companies. The upper brass should keep there jobs based on fights. Anyway, as it was when Kane wrestled Daniel Bryan for the title....I have little intrigue because it feels a little predetermined.

Brock Lesnar vs The Undertaker Hell In A Cell
Dude, it's gonna be awesome when Brock throws Taker off the cage into the announcers desk. That's gonna happen right? Anybody watch the Austin podcast? It just reminded me why I didn't enjoy Brock the first time around. That he's more of a meat head than everyone else. But, now I just love his matches. As for Taker, this storyline is so confusing because his promos are uninspiring and he should be a heel, and now Brock is heeling it up...and I guess everything is just shades of grey. I know this though....today I'm underwhelmed....Sunday I'll wake up and go "Holy shit.. .Brock vs Taker is today!"

I can't think of anything else. This week my favorite wrestler is AJ Styles. James Storm in NXT was garbage. I'm sorry for his luck. And scene.

October 05, 2015

pre tour rusty report

THE NEW TRIPLE THREAT> LEX, DOUGLESS AND ROLLINS
RUSTY REPORT!!!!!
Long time no see fellaz! Shoot man. I miss yall. You still watch that pro wrestling? I kinda do. Really just the ppv's anymore even tho i love some of the roster. Here is a list of random stuff.....

THE NEW DAY: I wasnt interested at all when they started. I thought it was a waste of  people i already liked. But shit man, the are great. I love everything about them. And the audience does too. When is the WWE going to catch on that the fans like to have fun and it is ok to have this kind of stuff? Git with it you pricks!

SETH ROLLINS: This guy is my new fav. I think he totally rules and his matches are awesome. ANd he is working with the company to make it better which i like. I also love his matches with Cena. I'm sorry but I think Cena is great when he wrestles indie guys. And i just think Rollins rules all around.

I still love Brey even tho they made him lame.

I still love Owens even tho they made him lame

I still love Ryback even tho he has always been lame.

I dont give two shits about Ziggles and the Russian guy at all even tho i like them. That story sucks absolute ass even tho it should be great. I'm a big fan of pressed together boobs so i should love this. But i dont. Sorry

I'm really glad the 3D are back. I always said that Buh Buh Ray was the best talker in TNA. If they let him loose he would be great.

Brock rules and Heyman is the best talker in wrestling ever.

I dont watch Divas stuff at all because I just watch porn to look at naked girls. I watch wrestling to watch wrestling. I feel like they get ripped off and I just cant watch even tho i like some of them.

Well that is it my dudes! Ill type ya some on the road!

September 19, 2015

WWE Night Of Champions Preview

So....I missed a SummerSlam preview!? I feel like a terrible person. It's almost like I've spent the last month or so doing nothing but tons of exercise and making bad decisions. Did I say that I'm gonna run a half marathon? Well I am. I really want a 13.1 sticker. That's my only reason.

The Cosmic Wasteland vs Neville & The Lucha Dragons
Rick Victor is now in a stable. Pretty Awesome dudes.

Dolph Ziggler vs Rusev
Lana broke her wrist. I liked her high top high heels. Oh...and Dolph gave Summer earrings apparently. I think he wants a three way.

The New Day vs The Dudley Boyz
Did you guys sign the petition to Save The Tables? This is great stuff. Can't wait for the TLC match we're sure to get down the road. Everything about The New Day is the best. I care about Kofi now! Finally!

Dean Ambrose, Roman Reigns, and Mystery vs The Wyatt Family
Who you got? Baron Corbin? Joe? Or is it DBD? I may be in the minority, but I like this. Perfect spot for these guys....even though Bray will probably never win anything for the rest of his career.

Charlotte vs Nikki Bella for the Divas Championship
Charlotte wins right? Or does hottie (not as hot since you bimboed yourself out on Total Divas getting engaged when you didn't want to) Paige heel it up and cost Miss Flair? Revolution! With minimal stories!

Ryback vs Kevin Owens for the Intercontinental Championship
Kevin hates The Secret. Perfect reason for a feud. He also eats apples while Ryback can't seem to find food. The devils in the details.

Seth Rollins vs John Cena for the US Championship
This will probably be a pretty good match where Cena flubs one or two moves that he shouldn't be doing, but we will give him credit because he's not doing the same five. I wonder where they go from here.

Seth Rollins vs Sting for the WWE World Heavyweight Title
Rollins should watch Michaels vs Hogan from SummerSlam and just do the same thing. Slightly over sell  everything because it's awesome and fun. Alas, I don't think even Sting's tag team partner Jesus will help him win. Should be fun.

I ate entirely too much candy today, and I like it. Thanks for the ROH show Marshall. It works! Rusty, did you really open for the Colts!?! I was watching The Big Show DVD set and found a new Rat Classic that I'll hopefully post soon. Well well...nothing more to say...Poncho Out.

August 25, 2015

MMS: The Brooklyn Trilogy



August 11, 2015

August 02, 2015

Poncho Man's Ultima Lucha Preview

So technically Ultima Lucha started last week. They decided to do 2 weeks and make it a three hour show. This is Lucha Underground's big event to close out the season (praying they come back, this show really is amazing and tells great stories. It's like adult high production value Chikara). So I have nothing else to do right now so I thought I'd catch y'all up. I already watched the first hour...no spoilers but it was Awesome!

The Mack vs Cage No Disqualification Match
So the former Willie Mack takes on LU's version of a WWE wrestler. This randomly got booked at the last minute when The Mack did a quick roll up to win a victory over Brian Cage last week. I like also that it's mildly meta seeing The Mack wrestle a huge WWE type guy when he go released before he ever started.

Son Of Havoc, Ivelisse, and Angelico vs The Disciples Of Death for the Trios Championship
So, Son Of Havoc and Ivelisse used to be boyfriend and girlfriend. Angelico was the guy trying to flirt with Ivelisse. Then they all hated eachother but we're forced by Dario Cueto (owner of The Temple) to form a trio. They won the titles even though Ivelisse had/still has a big cast on her leg. The Disciples Of Death are Miles Muertes cronies that are controlled by Katrina's rock. They are super evil.

Drago vs Hernandez Believer's Backlash Match
Hernandez said dragons aren't real. The fans revolted. So now Dario Cueto invited a bunch of fans to stand outside the ring with leather straps. They can use them to beat on any opponent that leaves the ring. Crazy lumberjack match gimmick.

Gift Of The Gods Title Match
Bengala vs King Cuerno vs Sexy Star vs Big Ryck vs Jack Evans vs Fenix vs Aerostar
So all of these guys won medallions over the last few months. It was revealed that your medallion is part of a belt that you can win, and then cash in like the Money In The Bank briefcase.
Bengala is a tiger.
King Cuerno is a hunter.
Sexy Star is a lady that Johnny Ace once called fat.
Big Ryck is cigar smoking Ezekiel Jackson.
Jack Evans is a crazy high flyer that used to be in ROH and is he's rad.
Fenix just rose from the dead after Mil Muertes killed him, and he's supposedly the brother of Pentagon Jr and son of Fuego (Fuego seems a little young...so maybe a different Fuego). Fuego is Tristan ' s favorite Lucha or because of his dance.
Aerostar is from the cosmos and will soon be in PWG and Chikara.

Johnny Mundo vs Alberto El Patron
Grudge match based on when Mundo turned heel and threw El Patron into Dario Cueto's office window. These guys are so much better with the shackles off. I just miss Mundo's slo-mo.

Texano vs Blue Demon Jr
If I watched AAA this would probably mean more. Texano is a huge star in Mexico and Blue Demon Jr just turned heel on him. I think AAA is about to have a huge PPV...maybe I should watch it?

Vampiro vs Pentagon Jr Cero Meido Match
Pentagon Jr has been breaking people's arms for months now. He does it as an offering for his "Master." Vampiro finally took offense and got involved. Pentagon Jr got  pissed, doused him in lighter fluid and said if you don't fight me, I'll light you on fire.....next week. It was kinda funny, but Vampiro decided to come out of retirement and have this match where I have no idea what the  Zero Fear stipulation means. Should be fun.

Prince Puma vs Mil Muertes for the Lucha  Underground Championship
Mil Muertes is like a super evil Undertaker being controlled by the vixen Katrina that licks your face when you lose or are being challenged by Mil. Prince Puma is Konnan's trainee that has been champion basically since the beginning  (he's also Ricochet). Mil earned a title shot and made it personal by (with the Disciples Of Death) attacking Konnan and making Puma watch, and of course then laying out Puma. Should be interesting.

Other points of interest. There is an Asian girl in Dario Cueto's dungeon next to his  brother (who happens to be a monster). She wants revenge for her parents, and her trainer can't save her because a prophecy says he'll die if he enters The Temple. Chavo doesn't have a match, but I'm guessing he'll be involved. We also don't k ow what Marty The Moth's deal is (very likely a next season story). Anything else you need to know? I feel like I'm missing tons of awesome back story, but whatever.

Tomorrow is the Poncho Man's birthday. Pretty sure he's gonna head to Seal Rock and do some wrastling perusing. It's been a rough week and I need to go relax or something. Blah. Poncho out.

July 19, 2015

Poncho Man's Battleground Preview

I totally forgot about this until 10 AM Sunday Morn. This is what happens when you're thinking about what starts tomorrow, and you stay up till the sun comes up on Friday, and your Saturday is hangover central. So yeah...this will be short and sweet.

King Barrett vs. King What's Up? for the Crown
I actually think this is fun. I have no problem with it and feel that this is a perfect utilization that probably gets a few families to laugh. Banning spiders is funny.

Randy Orton vs. Sheamus
I don't even understand this. Randy comes out and is all sneaky and gets Sheamus, but he's a good guy. Whatever.

Roman Reigns vs. Bray Wyatt
Well at least this makes sense. Bray threatened Roman by talking about his child. Pretty heelish there Bray. There are all sorts of rumors on the internets of what this might lead to. Bray shouldn't be losing MORE, and they wouldn't want Roman to lose because the kiddies would be upset.

Prime Time Players vs. The New Day for the Tag Team Championship
Well isn't this fun. Look at the card of this event. It's actually fairly diverse. 15 performers...6 of which are African-American. Is that a record?

John Cena vs. Kevin Owens for the United States Championship.
Yay! I've been trying to explain that Cena is having good matches lately to a few random people I know. All it is, is that Cena is mostly wrestling guys who have had long indie careers, so they aren't completely programmed to have the same WWE style match over and over. Hopefully Owens wins, and we get a three way or something at Summerslam, and he can drop it back without losing. Seems fair to me. Whatever, along for the ride.

Seth Rollins vs Brock Lesnar for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship
This will probably be very good. I can't wait for the German Suplex....land on their feet spot from Seth Rollins. Seems like a pretty grade A booking job for a PPV right before Summerslam. Does that mean Summerslam is going to be bonkers?

Where are the ladies? Seems like a weird absence. Where's Dean Ambrose? Lunaticking?  Liger at NXT will be weird and fun. Is that the same weekend that the NJPW guys will be back in ROH? How would you book that? I would rather see Liger vs Balor or Crow than Breeze, but I guess this way Liger can win. I'm gonna go see Ant-Man before the ppv. Just bragging. Should I do an Ultima Lucha Preview? Does anyone other than me care? Okay, I'm done.

July 12, 2015

G1 Climax 2015 Preview

The 25th annual G1 tournament is starting soon, and I'm pumped.  Last year's tournament was the best wrestling thing I have ever seen.  The attention to detail in the booking is amazing, which makes it rewarding to keep up with.  I'll be on vacation the week it starts, so I'll be super busy trying not to fall too far behind.  It won't be quite as whirlwind as last year, as last year had 22 competitors in 3 weeks of shows, this year is 20 guys in 4 weeks.  That's 16 fewer matches, and a much more reasonable schedule for the performers.  But that's enough of an intro... this threatens to be the longest post SCW has seen yet.  Which is saying a lot!  I'm going to try to say something about each wrestler, and name the match of theirs which I'm looking forward to the most.

A BLOCK

Bad Luck Fale:  He beat Tanahashi and Shibata last year, and closed with a 6-4 record.  Hasn't done much since.  I'm looking forward to seeing him wrestle Makabe, who will sell Fale like a beast and aim to slay him.

Doc Gallows:  Went 4-6 last year, his biggest victory being against Shibata.  He's since lost and regained the tag titles, in a series of matches which are arguably his best in Japan.  I expect him to do better this year, but the match I'm looking forward to most is against Fale, because last year it was the worst match in the entire tournament.  Of course, their being stable-mates isn't conducive to your typical big-guy-versus-big-guy dynamic, so there isn't much they can do about it.

Kota Ibushi:  Couldn't compete last year due to injury, so I'll be looking forward to all of his matches.  At least three of them will be worthy of the main event, but I'm looking forward to his match against AJ Styles the most!  After winning the 2015 New Japan Cup, I don't think Ibushi will win this tournament also, but I expect he'll come out with a very good record.

Togi Makabe:  The reigning NEVER Champion went 4-6 last year, with no major upsets.  He'll have to do better this year, considering his champion status.  I'm looking forward to his match against Naito, for reasons listed below.

Tetsuya Naito:  Recently came back from a heel turn in Mexico, and has been walking away from the ring with his too-cool-for-school attitude.  I wonder if he'll get some sense knocked into him, or if his new persona will cost him wins.  He was 5-5 last year with wins over Styles and Okada.  (He won G1 the year before!)  I'm looking forward to his match against Tanahashi, who, as New Japan's resident workhorse, will be aiming to teach Naito a lesson.

Katsuyori Shibata:  A contender last year, a contender this year, but probably fated for another year on the upper-midcard without really getting close to the Heavyweight Title.  The Intercontinental Title, on the other hand... well.  He went 6-4 last year with wins against Nakamura and Tanahashi.  I'm looking forward to his match against Ibushi because they seem like they're on about the same level but have totally different styles.  I will be rooting hard for Ibushi on that one!

AJ Styles:  A contender to win.  Held the Heavyweight Title for about 7 months of this year.  Tied Nakamura and Okada's 8-2 records in last year's G1, but one of his losses was to Okada, so he didn't qualify for the finals.  I'm looking forward to his match against Ibushi the most.  I already said that, but this is the one I'm anticipating the most out of all of them!

Hiroshi Tanahashi:  Another contender, and recent Heavyweight Titleholder.  Went 7-3 last year, defeating Nakamura and then losing to Davey Boy Smith, Jr.  That's the kind of statistic that makes me love this tournament!  His match against Shibata was one of the best and most talked about matches from last year's G1.  I'm looking forward to his match against Doc Gallows because they can both use a little humor in a match really well, and they might have fun with it.  Or Tanahashi might just be out for Bullet Club blood after last year, we'll see.

Hiroshi Tenzan:  Went 4-6 last year, his biggest win being against Karl Anderson.  He's the NWA Heavyweight Champion, but I don't know what that means anymore.  I can't say I'm really looking forward to any of his matches.  I'm only going to say that about one other wrestler.  Sorry, Tencozy.

Toru Yano:  The merry trickster also went 4-6 last year, his most memorable upset being against Minoru Suzuki.  Now that his program with Tanahashi is wrapped up, I think he'll be shuffled down the card a bit.  I'm looking forward to Ibushi flying in circles around him as he plots to cheat.

B Block

Karl Anderson:  Has been super entertaining this year, even if he is the most obnoxious part of his own obnoxious podcast (which I listen to and love anyway).  His angle with Maria was one of the highlights of the past several months.  He beat Okada last year, and ended with a 5-5 record.  I'd expect him to finish similarly this year, and I'm looking forward to that rematch.

Michael Elgin:  Must be so freakin happy.  Since this is his first time in NJPW, they'll probably have him win his first few matches, then lose the rest.  Even though I'm not a fan of him in ROH, I'm curious to see how this goes for him.  I'm most looking forward to his match against Ishii, so they can settle once and for all which one of them is shorter.

Hirooki Goto:  The Intercontinental Champion.  He's a cool wrestler, but he needed that rub from Nakamura because he was really fading as a dynamic challenger.  He had an unremarkable record at last year's G1 with 4-6, with no big upsets.  This year he'll do a lot better.  I'm looking forward to his match with Nakamura, to see the smile on Nakamura's face when he finally (I assume) defeats him.

Tomoaki Honma:  Despite (or because of) not winning any matches in last year's G1, Honma has skyrocketed in popularity, and it's reflected in his placement on the card.  Will we finally see Honma score a point?  Is he more lovable because he always loses?  I will be rooting for him to win every match, and when he gets pinned, I'll say "Darn it!" then shrug and say "Oh, Honma.  When will you catch a break?"  and then laugh.  That's the life of a Honmaniac.  I'm most looking forward to his match against Okada, because I've never seen Honma in a singles match against a World Champion.

Tomohiro Ishii:  Went 5-5 last year, with no major upsets.  He's got about the same spot now that he had then, both years he's lost the NEVER Championship just weeks before the start of the G1.  I'm looking forward to his match against Goto, to see how he measures up against the current Intercontinental Champ.

Satoshi Kojima:  Also went 5-5 last year with no big upsets.  Fits in that category with his Tencozy mate Tenzan as being prominent ex-champions who no longer pose a threat.  Maybe this year the chops-in-the-corner spot will grow on me... but I doubt it.

Yuji Nagata:  The opposite side of that coin, because Nagata is a non-threatening ex-champion, but unlike Tencozy he still seems relevant.  I feel that way because his matches are consistently entertaining, and he's got that huge charismatic aura that makes good wrestlers into great wrestlers, and makes great ones amazing.  Last year he went 4-6, his biggest win against Shibata.  I'm looking forward to his match against Okada, because when Okada is selling it will briefly tease the idea that Nagata can still challenge for the World Title, and that will be fun.

Shinsuke Nakamura:  Even though there are at least five guys who will make every one of their matches awesome, Nakamura stands out among them.  The charisma factor mentioned above is through the roof, and his bare bones wrestling skills are fantastic to begin with.  Nakamura is so popular that it's easy to forget that he's a villain.  I'm most looking forward to his match with Honma, because as the babyface underdog of Block B, he may bring some more heelish behavior out of the King.  He went 8-2 last year, his losses being against Shibata and Tanahashi.

Kazuchika Okada:  The winner of last year's G1, he had a 8-2 record with losses to Naito and Anderson.  If Okada wins this tournament, he will challenge himself for his own Championship.  This being the case, does it seem a foregone conclusion that he will not win?  Last year, AJ Styles had the World Title, and was a hair away from going to the finals.  It seems likely that Okada's record for this tournament will be similar, so a big question throughout the G1 will be who can hand him those critical losses?  I have a guess for one of them, which is why I'm looking forward to his match with Nakamura so much!

Yujiro Takahashi:  Makes Tama Tonga look like Shawn Michaels.  Well, maybe he's not that bad, but in New Japan he sticks out as being way towards the bottom of their talent pool.  Went 4-6 last year, his biggest win was against Naito.  Takahashi hasn't done anything since he lost the NEVER belt last October, so it seems weird for him to be a contender in this tournament.  Maybe he can lose to Honma.  I am looking forward to his match with Ishii so that Ishii can make an example of how unworthy Takahashi was of the NEVER Title.  I wish Tonga had this spot.

And that's a wrap!  Yeah!  Who's pumped?  This took me a few writing sessions, I'm actually at work now as I finish this up.  Since I started this post, I've watched several NJPW on AXS shows which focus on aspects of last year's G1.  They're awesome shows, less for the matches (which are edited, but still watchable) and more for the educational aspect, filling in the backstory which helps illuminate the landscape of characters.

I hope the colorful text made this more enjoyable to read.  I never realized how many of these fellows wear red.  I would be cool to get together with both of you to watch this stuff, and especially the finals.  My work schedule is in flux right now, so I'm not sure how available I'll be, but hopefully we can figure something out.

I won't say who my pick to win is, but... I don't think the Poncho Man will be texting me a frowny face about it.

Forever Sparkle,
Q Marshall

June 26, 2015

MMS: (It's Mostly ROH)



The clip at the end is from Ric Flair's podcast with guest Terry Funk.  Super!


June 13, 2015

Poncho Man's 2015 Money In The Bank Preview

Started writing this on Wednesday but apparently it didn't save. I had all sorts of things to say about being in Ashland and watching an awesome Elizabethan musical with music from The Go-Go's....and going on a date...and watching wrestling....and Green Shows....and stuff. So now I feel like nothing is relevant and I'll just discuss wrestling.

R-Truth vs King Barrett on the Preshow
We're excited by this because Truth is a bumbling fool...I guess? He had a great moment on Raw that seemed like the weirdest acknowledgement of things being completely staged yet. He should become even more self aware and be more meta in the Meta Era.

Nikki Bella vs Paige for the WWE Divas Championship
Hot....or something.

Ryback vs  Big Show for the Intercontinental Title
The Big Guy should go on benders more often and be hilarious. The Big Show should also....this will be exactly what we think it will be...and I guess I'm okay with that.

The New Day vs. The Prime Time Players for the World Tag Team Championship
There is absolutely nothing wrong with this and it will be an okay match. The New Day are fantastic and PTP is just as good as they were.

The Money In The Bank Ladder Match
I said yesterday that I think it will be a Kofi or Kane win. There is no reason for Reigns to win unless they plan on turning him heel. I'm probably wrong. Just feel like it would make alot of sense.

Seth Rollins vs Dean Ambrose for the WWE World Heavyweight Title
That entire sentence was in predictive text. Oh I guess I left out that it's a Ladder Match. This will be another match where I realize how boring Dean Ambrose is as a wrestler....like Randy Orton level. The Nigel thing is the worst. The worst. I roll my eyes everytime. Does this match matter? Do they do another Dusty Finish.....just because?

The Real Main Event
Owens vs Cena
Do they throw us a bone? I hope something screwy happens. Owens/They haven't dropped the ball yet. Best thing going where I legit have no clue where it is going.

Still pretty broken up about Dusty. I'm not even a huge Dusty mark, but I'm really confused. Read Sami Zayn's eulogy if you haven't.  I laughed and cried and read a little to my mom.

This was originally going to have way more Poncho Man topical stuff....but I guess this is what happens when it gets delayed by days. Still wondering why Rusty is in The Mall of America watching NJPW? About to go watch the Super Juniors main event...now that I'm buzzed. Woooooo!

Best of the Super Juniors 22

Hi Fellas,
Here's a brief introduction: The Best of The Super Juniors tournament is round-robin style, so the 16 wrestlers were split into two groups (called blocks) of 8.  Each wrestler in each block wrestled every other wrestler in that block, and after that, the guy with the best win record from each block met for the final match.  The winner of that match gets a shot at the Junior Heavyweight Champion, Kenny Omega, at the next big NJPW show.  I enjoyed the tournament, I thought just about everybody in it were great, and several wrestlers really exceeded my expectations.  Here's a list of the competitors, ranked very generally from good to best (IMO) with notes on them and the tourney along the way.

 
"Record"s in red are from A Block, blue from B Block. 

Alex Shelley:  Injured after the first match.  Everyone in his block got a free win when he dropped out.  The same thing happened with him last year.  I'm really not into his NJPW character, but it sucks that he didn't get the opportunity to change my mind.  Record: 1-6

Mascara Dorada:  Maybe the only wrestler in the tourney who I feel like I couldn't describe.  I enjoyed his matches, but I can't remember anything about him specifically.  Weird.  Record: 5-2
 
Nick Jackson:  Only half of the Young Bucks in the tourney.  Seems to be going after 'X-Pac heat' with incessant, high-pitched "Suck it"s throughout each match.  Still, a fun aerial performer and there were some cool heel antics with his enforcer Cody Hall.  Record: 3-4

Tiger Mask:  Seeing this guy in singles matches only happens once a year, so I did enjoy seeing his ability to pace a match and stand on his own.  Record: 4-3

Baretta:  It's strange seeing Trent? in NJPW, because his style seems so light in comparison.  He still had some solid matches, but didn't come off as much of a threat.  Record: 4-3

Barbaro Cavernario:  For a guy with a Flintstones gimmick, he was fairly impressive and really ingratiated himself to the Japanese crowds.  I don't think they're retaining him as a regular roster guy, I think he was just brought in for the tourney.  Record: 3-4

Chase Owens:  The Crown Jewel of the NWA was one of the guys who exceeded my expectations.  I usually think the NWA guys are kind of boring or stale, or just plain suck (in the case of the inimitable Big Daddy Yum Yum), but maybe that opinion is informed by how they're generally used to facilitate lukewarm feuds with NJPW vets who need something to do.  Owens had a really good tourney, and his matches seemed to get better every night.  In the beginning, I was apathetic, but by the end I was a fan.  Record: 4-3

David Finlay:  New to New Japan, and new to most North American viewers, this is Dave "Fit" Finlay's young-looking son.  His style is very much in the vein of his Dad, which makes sense since he's been training and working in the same places (Germany, UK).  Like Owens, his matches seemed to improve every night, and I went from being curious to being a fan.  The NJPW powers-that-be were impressed too, as he was invited to join the dojo and added to the roster right after the tourney.  This kid does a Finlay roll so wham-bam, you'd never even think of calling it a rolling senton.  Record: 0-7  (Alex Shelley's only match was to beat him)



Yohei Komatsu:  The ropey-muscled rookie has been showing more and more character, and I've been enjoying his development over the past year.  I was disappointed that his frequent opponent Sho Tanaka wasn't in the tourney, but Komatsu has been standing out and deserved the extra attention.  The kid's got heart!  Record: 0-7

Rocky Romero:  I can't think of any other wrestlers who do the same spots in every match and it's always fun.  Oh, yes I can, Ric Flair.  Maybe Azucar is secretly a Nature Boy clone, and nobody's noticed yet.  Record: 4-3

Jushin Thunder Liger:  This dude is the man, I love how supportive of the younger talent he is, he really gets people over, whether they're actually going over or not.  I also saw him wrestle Dalton Castle on ROH last night.  Legend with a capital L.  Record: 4-3

Ryusuke "Funky Weapon" Taguchi:  I've never been on this guy's bandwagon, but he had some impressive outings, and made me more of a fan.  His oddball humor has grown on me too.  He seems to have abandoned his Eddie Guerrero schtick, and is now focusing more on just changing every wrestling attack move so that his butt is the striking force.  He had a lot of good matches, and almost won A Block, but lost his final match to Owens.  It was one of the most dramatic matches of the tournament, and main-evented the last show before the finals.  Record: 5-2

Gedo:  This dude always cracks me up, and the fact that he's a booker makes me admire his creativity all the more.  Since he's usually only in tag matches, it was a treat to see him work whole matches.  Record: 2-5

Bobby Fish:  Of course this dude kicked ass.  He's been wrestling in Japan for so long that you can tell he's communicating really well with his Japanese opponents, and his matches were all really fluid and cool.  Record: 5-2

Kushida:  The deserving winner of the tournament.  I was rooting for him last year, too.  He's got a great ground game, and is as quick as just about anyone with strikes and aerials.  Add in to the mix the fact that his self-confidence seems to be exploding to near-heel levels, and it's obvious he's a real star in the making.  He ruled in the ROH tour, was totally over with that crowd, and brought all the bravado back with him.  Record: 6-1 (loss to Nick Jackson)

Kyle O'Reilly:  The show-stealer of the tournament.  It was Kushida's to win, but my guess is that Kyle will be coming back to New Japan for a long time, for increasingly greater prizes.  Kelly and Corino often say "future world champ" about the guy, and following his journey has been every bit as rewarding as that prediction implies.  Record: 6-1 (loss to Taguchi)


That's a wrap!  Hope that was somewhat enlightening.  I was gonna invite you guys over for the ROH PPV next weekend, but I'll be working extra days and won't be available.  Nuts!  It would have been really fun to root for Jay Lethal with you guys. (He's in the main event for the world title versus Jay Briscoe, with Lethal's TV title also on the line.)  I'm really excited, if Lethal wins I'll go bonkers.  Tomorrow is MITB... I hope Kevin Owens wins clean over Cena again... what are the odds?  I read that Cena's only ever lost clean 10 times, and then I think it was 9 of those times he got revenge wins within a week or month or something.  Crazy. Looking forward to your preview, Poncho, so that I can have some kind of idea of what the hell is going on.  I haven't watched Raw since the Chamber.  I should go watch the Owens segments, though.  Anyway, Q M signing out

May 28, 2015

Poncho Man's Elimination Chamber Preview

Incredibly bored. Staff meeting. Recent Woody Allen movie (To Rome With Love). Cleaning my house for hours and hours while listening to records. Finally drinking 1 dollar PBRS and writing this. I did just have a guy I kinda know thanking me on instant messenger for telling him about NXT. That was kinda cool. Oh yeah....allergies hit this morning. Lonely and miserable (not Black Flag?).

Bo Dallas vs. Neville
I like Bo even more on the main roster than I did in NXT....so I'll probably be pretty stoked for this. Lately...Bolieving comes up more in my life than Yes! which is upsetting.

Nikki Bella vs. Paige vs. Naomi for the Divas Championship
Paige post Miz movie is still hot. Btw....Alexis Bliss...heel turn.....hot.

Intercontinental Elimination Chamber Match with a bunch of people...probably now including more Bray Wyatt
Rusev got hurt. I give no shits about this match. They could give it to R-Truth and I won't care as our boy is gone (pre show Miz TV btw) and I'm just sad about the whole damn thing.

Tag Team Title Elimination Chamber Match with errybody (sic)
I have the exact opposite feelings about this match. I have a feeling this could be a classic. Even if the outcome is pretty obvious this will be so much fun. So many great underutilized guys trying to steal the show in a position that they can. Weeeeeee.

Seth Rollins vs Dean Ambrose for the WWE World Heavyweight Title
It's interesting. The Internet seems torn about the outcome being completely obvious or it being that interesting time when a shake up is needed. Oddly...I think it all depends on the outcome of another at ch on this card. The match....

John Cena vs Kevin Owens
I'm just gonna become a broken record of saying...didn't I call a Steen vs Cena fued being a dream fued? This is the first Cena match I've had emotion about since CM Punk.....where I will be on the edge of my seat verbally yelling at the screen.  Seriously. He's the man.

I wasn't trying to sound so miserable in my opening. Good things....my favorite beer is back (Stumptown Tart....7.7% candy beer), I have an immaculate kitchen, no roomies for a bit (I need a new roomie....the awful search starts), Lakers got the #2 pick, the new Goatsnake record is incredible, and we had a really great marathon. Rusty did you take the salsa? I have your hot sauce. I made some eggs with it. Okay....enjoy guys. Please post more. We watch lots of wrestling.....I wanna hear about it all.


May 15, 2015

Poncho Man's Mildly Early Payback Preview.

Well well well, I guess I'll see you guys tomorrow for wrestling fun time. You guys couldn't have picked a better time to come visit. While I won't force you to drink beers and listen to Katy Perry on vinyl, it's been a rough week. In the interest of not whining all Saturday,  I found out Tuesday that I'm officially single....told her Wednesday that I didn't want any contact....was doing fairly good....until she started texting me this afternoon and I broke down (in fact missed a Rusty phone call because of uncontrollable bawling). I hope I don't freak you two out with TMI but it will be nice to hang out and do the wrestling watching. Just need to move a recliner downstairs and we'll all be sitting like kings.

Macho Mando and Curtis Axel vs The Ascension
Fuck this. This is stupid. :)

Naomi and Tamina vs The Bella Twins
Ummmmm....okay. Did you guys read that Charlotte vs Sasha Banks headlined an NXT show in Philly? It's super cool that the mark audience is supporting that....and proves Sara Del Ray is amazing.

Neville vs. King Barrett
If I was emotionally invested I would be excited for this. I feel The King gimmick is terrible for the former bare knuckle boxer who delivers bad news. He didn't even start talking funny. Luckily, Neville is making the most of his spot. I've never been emotionally invested in a Pac or Neville unless he was fighting someone I loved (Steen vs Pac in PWG was rad and I probably texted about it before).

Dolph Ziggler vs Sheamus
Ziggler has been trying to "Poison" up his look and Sheamus still makes me bored. I feel like I might mildly care if I watched Smackdown.

Kiddaro vs The New Day 2 out of 3 falls
Oh please give this time. Please please please give this time. This was match of the night last ppv. Kiddaro can put a match together. You just know Claudio put alot of Chikara together back in the day. BTW, I'm so glad they let The New Day be something I've never ever seen before in wrestling....but still be familiar.

John Cena vs Rusev I Quit Match for the US Title
I'll probably quit watching during this match since all of Cena's Raw matches lately have been better than anything he's done with Rusev. Oh yeah....Lana is still hot.

Ryback vs Bray Wyatt
Bray is gonna win a match?!?! Wow. Crazy.

Seth Rollins vs Roman Reigns vs Randy Orton vs Dean Ambrose for the WWE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE
This match is very curious. Did they just randomly realize they fucked up with Dean or is something going on? Well...doesn't really matter since there is another PPV in 2 weeks.

Well, I just finished writing this as the Grizzlies were eliminated from the playoffs (my second favorite team in the NBA) and this braided ponytail guy in his early forties is clapping and yelling "nice" often right next to me. Ummm....what else.....I'm super behind on Chikara....Lucha Underground might be my favorite wrestling right this second. I can't tell how depressed I am about Daniel Bryan because of life. I don't have a "guy" in WWE right this second (Give me Owens and a microphone). I guess we can talk about anything else in person. I'll see Rusty bright and early tomorrow. Red or white Marshall?

Wooooo.






April 27, 2015

Extreme Rules TOTALLY Review!

I thought the butt kissing thing was made up by Kayfabe News.  Wow, it was real.

Usually with the WWE shows and PPVs, I don't really care, but maybe I'll tune in and maybe see something cool.  Neville is a good example, I caught a few of his main roster matches, and he's still awesome.  I think this Extreme Rules show is the first one when I've actually felt like I really really didn't want to see it.

WWE's got me so bummed on their crappy programming that I haven't even watched NXT in like a month.  Damn!  Good thing there were about 9 hours of Chikara to watch this week!

Did you guys hear that TNA hired Billy Corgan for some big job with talent relations and to refresh their creative direction?  There has to be a good joke in there...  Maybe Bram will come out to "The world is a vampire"?  That was lame.

In other news from today, Verne Gagne died and Davey Richards got engaged to Angelina Love.  There has to be a good joke in there, maybe not about Verne Gagne, but... Hey, I didn't know Davey Richards was gay.  Hm?  No?  Also lame?  My bad.

I heard that King of the Ring was going to happen, and I got excited.  I heard it was just going to be TV, no PPV, I was still excited.  I saw the list of 8 competitors, I was really excited.  I looked for the second list of competitors....  Hey, where's Block B?  You can't have a wrestling tournament in a promotion of dozens of guys, and then just have 8 competitors!  Suck!  Damn!  Oh, who am I kidding, I don't have any ROH, NJPW, PWG, Chikara, NOAH, or anything else to watch, so I'll probably tune in for Raw tonight.  For their weenie little tournament.  Maybe I'll also watch the new Jerry Springer network show, because I'm not depressed enough already.

I'm thinking Saturday, the 16th of May would be a good time for a Wrestlemarathon.  We could watch the previous night's Global Wars, and some other stuff, then order the second night of Global Wars on iPPV.  If we have iPPV capabilities.  None of us have laptops.  Poncho, is it possible to watch iPPVs at your place?  Anyway, it's a Saturday, which is the best day for me.  I work Thursday, Friday, and Sunday.  Even if we can't catch night 2, the first show is still stacked as hell and we should watch it together.

April 25, 2015

Poncho Man's Extremely Extreme Extreme Rules Preview

Holy fucking shit. It's fucking Extreme fucking Rules and shit! Things are getting fucking wild here at SCW. We're doing fucking zines now. Rusty watched some fucking NJPW without us. The whole fucking world is fucking nutty!

Preshow!
Kiddaro vs The Mother fucking New Day
Who is the fucking faces here? It's a fucking heel fest over here. Four bad guys at once! That is fucking extreme!!!! Go Kiddaro! !!!!

Dolph Ziggler vs Sheamus in a Kiss My Arse Match
HOLY SHIT GUYS!!!! There is going to be fucking butt kissing after this fucking match!!!!! Extremely fucking extreme is butt kissing!!!! Along with braided fucking beards.

Dean Ambrose vs Luke Harper in a Chicago Street Fight
Is this event in fucking Chicago? Are either of these guys from fucking Chicago. I know a fucking guy named Kellen Terrett in Chicago. Knowing these two guys....we're going to the EXTREME here. I'm extremely excited to watch this extremeness.

Roman Reigns vs Big Show in a Last Man fucking Standing Match
Who cares about this fucking match!

Nikki Bella vs Naomi for the Divas Championship
EXTREMELY UNDERWHELMING! #!!!! €=€*!;/

Daniel Bryan vs Bad News Barrett for the Intercontinental Title
I will be extremely fucking disappointed if this match doesn't happen. I'll also be extremely fucking scared and sad. I'm fucking nervous.

John Cena vs Rusev in a Russian Fucking Chain Match for the fucking US Title
Fucking STF with a chain! That's totally extreme! !!!! Remember when it was the STFU!?!?! Now that was fucking totally extreme! Cause it was an extreme pun!!!!! Puns are fucking EXTREME BABY!!!!!!

Seth Rollins vs Randy Orton in an extremely convaluted stipulation match for the WWE World Heavyweight Title
STEEL FUCKING CAGE!!!!!! SOOOOOO EXTREME!!!!!!! Extreme Kane is gonna extremely guard the extreme cage!!!!! I can't quite extremely believe how extreme this is and the extremely fucking extreme feelings I'm feeling about this. EXTREME.

HEY GUYS!!!!! Extremely come visit me!!!! I don't do anything on Thursday, Friday, and Saturday. I watch lots of fucking extreme tv....then I go to work. Being single is extreme!!!!!! I have like 8 bottles of Willamette Valley Vineyards wine (extreme bribe?).  We can do EXTREME level DDP YOGA like I'm doing now.  It will be crazy fucking EXTREME! !!!!!!!!







extreme.